


A hearts a heavy burden

by MaliSiel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, Dreamscapes, F/M, Female Harry Potter, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:48:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29203866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaliSiel/pseuds/MaliSiel
Summary: Voldemort saves a drunk Harriet from muggles, and he reaps the benefits. Harriet is sure its a dream and begins to enjoy her time with Tom, but life is never easy for Harriet.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Comments: 22
Kudos: 167





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> there is a lot of heavy topics discussed and it might be triggering.
> 
> ps I believe in happy endings because the world is so miserable right now that things just need a light at the end of the tunnel

Harriet polished off her bottle of cheap vodka, barely keeping herself from falling off the swing. Cedric and Sirius were both dead because of her, she kept reminding herself. Sirius loved her and she killed him. She went to take another swig of the bottle and got mad when she realized it was empty. 

"Fuck" she swore and threw the bottle on the ground, she got up and stumbled around having a hard time remembering where she was. She picked a direction and started walking hoping to find Private Drive. 

Unfortunately for her, it was not a quiet night and she caught the attention of three drunk muggles quite a bit older than herself.

She straightened up a bit as they started to catcall her. She quickened her pace but they were faster than her and seemed a lot less drunk than she was. They laughed as she stumbled trying not to fall down, they started to make a game of pushing her until they started to attract attention from other patrons. They grabbed her by the arms and dragged her back the way she came.

She tried screaming and one of the men pulled a knife and held it to her throat. She got the message loud and clear. 

They dragged her back to a park past the swing set. Laughing and stumbling around, they grabbed her a few times and tried to rip her clothes and one of the guys commented that they should wait till they are out of sight before they really start having fun. 

Harry cried silently, struggling with all her might. “Oh a little spitfire. I love it when they struggle '' one man laughed, the other two agreed. Harriet tried desperately to use her magic but the alcohol wouldn't let her focus and she couldn't grab her wand. She began to beg but that only seemed to encourage the men.

"I wish Voldemort would just come here and kill me" she drunkenly wished with all her might. The men laughed at her and called her crazy Once they were back far enough they threw her on the ground and everytime she tried to stand up they would push her down and rip at her clothes. Soon her clothes were in tatters, her ugly tan bra showing thru dudley's overly large white t-shirt. She looked so pathetic, she was suppose to be the most powerful witch of the century and she was brought down by a bottle of vodka and 3 muggles.

Tom opened his eyes and looked around the dark park. The moon was high and the night was clear. He gazed at the old rusty swing set that reminded him of the awful orphanage he grew up in. He walked over to it and saw a wand laying forgotten on the ground. Not paying too much mind to it he picked it up, the wand reacted well in his hand very similar to his own. 

"I wish Voldemort would just come here and... me" he heard a female voice cry out. He heard men laughing as they retreated into the forest with the unwilling women. Did a woman really call out for Voldemort to save her? This really was the weirdest dream he ever had. 

He saw the three men push the girl down on the ground and laugh at her. She reached up her sleeve but he saw her panicked when she didn't find her wand. 

Tom rolled his eyes at the scenario. Was he really having a hero complex dream? He sighed and crucified the three muggles with ease. They cried and pissed their pants. He did it again and again until they passed out. He thought about killing them, but he wanted them to remember the pain they caused.

"Alas your knight in shining armour has appeared" he said sarcastically and did a dramatic bow while he rolled his eyes. If his subconscious wants to play hero he might as well give in, it's not like anyone was ever going to know. He would kill them if they ever did.

Harriet looked at the man that had an uncanny resemblance to Tom Riddle and started to burst out laughing.

"Why thank you lord Voldemort '' she staggered up and grabbed the bottle the muggles were caring and started to down it. -i must have drank to much and past out well at least he's hot'

Hot Tom look-a-like scowled at her for laughing at him. Harry staggered over to him and fell on top of him. He tried catching her but he didnt relise his uneven footing. She wrapped her hands in his hair and giggled closed to his face, her breath smelt of straight liquor. But the rest of her face was covered in unruly black hair.

"Oops you fell...Looks like you need a hero's reward"she tried whispering seductively but kept on coming out in fits of giggles. She rolled off to his side, her body still pressed against his.

Voldemort watched as the drunk girl ran her hand over his slacks and found his half mast. He ground slightly as she touched it and then watched her take it out and move down to give it a couple lazy slobbery licks. She alternated between sucking him and taking swings of the muggle alcohol. Her black hair was a stark comparison against his pale white thighs. Her messy black bangs shielded her eyes and most of her race from him but he was content with letting this drunk dream girl service him. After all he did save her.

Harry soon became enticed with the dick in her mouth and left the bottle of alcohol forgotten beside her. She never did anything like this, it all seemed so forbidden and it excited her. She wondered if auras were watching but then rolled her eyes. It had to be a dream because they would have saved her from the rapist. And there was no way in hell Voldemort would save her.

She began to enthusiastically suck him off and he moved a hand to her hair and he began to moan. She smirked to herself at the thought of the real Voldemort moaning like a whore for her. But she would settle for the dream look alike.

Tom sat up and grabbed her ass. Moving to her jean covered pussy. He gripped her there and began to stroke her through the clothes. Harriet let out a moan and wished her clothes were gone, the next stroke he met her slick folds she looked down at her naked body in surprise. She glanced up at the man who had a devilish smirk on his face and he flipped her over and began to suck on her tits and play with her extremely wet pussy.

It was barely a minute of playing with her before she came and she took charge again. she forced him in his back and sunk herself on his dick and began to ride him. He gripped her hips until bruises appeared. He forced her on his dick without regard and watched her small tits bounce in the moonlight. 

She flipped her head back and avada kadva green eyes met his own and a red lightning bolt scar on her forehead shone bright on her forehead at the exact time he came. They both screamed each other's names. And with a loud pop the park became empty except for the three past out muggles who were now too scared to even look at a female.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry woke up beside her bed with a pounding headache. She wanted to vomit at the thought of last night's dream, did she really fantasize about voldemort? Shelooked down at her clothes and didn't remember wearing this overly large shirt; the rest of her clothes were strewn around the floor of her room. She sighed, she didn't really remember anything about last night. At least her wand and glasses were on her nightstand.

She pried up the floorboards where her alcohol was and took them to the window where she poured them all out before the Dursley noticed. She felt painfully sore everywhere and she tried to recall what happened. 

She remembered going to the park with Dudley and sneaking a few drinks. She remembered following him home when it got dark but didn't she go back to the park? Or did she change her mind cause she didn't want to sleep outside? She must have changed her mind because there was no way the dursley would let a drunk her in after dark. But then what was that weird sex dream with tall dark and dreamy tom riddle.

Before she could finish her musing the dursley were back home from church and unlocked her door for her to make breakfast.

She quickly forgot about the strange night and started to count down her days till Hogwarts. After all she turned sixteen last night and since it's the end of the summer she should be able to go to the weasleys, like she does every year.

Tom woke up to something stabbing his side. He lazily waved his hand at it but didn't open his eyes. He heard a bunch of giggling and immediately shot up. The little kids screamed in fright and ran away. He looked around at first not recognizing where he was. It was an empty field with what looked like a foundation of where a large building used to stand. 

His heart stopped when he saw the name on top of the gate. WOOL'S Orphanage. He grimaced and looked around for the blasted children that had been poking him with a stick. They must have been fast because they were nowhere in sight.

He looked around remembering last night. He didn't see the swing set from last night or from his childhood. He slumped back down to the ground and reached for the spare wand he remembered grabbing to verify his night. 

He gave a relief sigh when he didn't find it. Imagine if he was actually fucking his mortal enemy. It still shook him that he dreamed about her, she was still a girl after all and that was his only moral.

Don't be a pedophile.

Harriet finished her morning chores quickly, knowing someone was going to pick her up today, and then went to shower. When she went back down stairs to try and sneak some food. She was in shock when she saw the scene in front of her. Snape was sitting on Petunia’s couch drinking tea. 

"Profess-sir?" She stuttered, Wide eyed. “Professor Snape, Dumbledore sent you to pick me up?”

"He's one of your teachers?" Petunia jumped up and glared at him. "You better not touch her Severus. I swear on Lilly's grave you will never hurt anyone in this family again" she spat. Harry looked between the two of the confused.

"I never hurt lily, Tuney," he sneered. they glared at each other refusing to back down. “You know that”

"You guys know each other?!" Harriet said in a stupor. She glared at Snape,he got to know her mum. That wasn't fair. He was the biggest bully in school.

"No, I don't know this death eater." Her aunt snapped. Snape physically recoiled.

"That's rich coming from a jealous bitch who tried to hurt her sister every summer." 

In a different reality this would have been funny to harriet. The two people she hated most snapping at each other, but this wasn't one of those realities. All she wanted was to leave.

"Stop it! you're both terrible people. Now let's go to the weasleys, sir'' Harriet yelled, sneering the last word. The both glared at her like she was the bane of their existence, but she just ignored them and whipped around going upstairs to grab her hidden stash. She brought it down and told Snape to unlock the broom cupboard to grab all her school supplies.

Snape begrudgingly did so and Harriet pulled out her trunk and broom. She opened up her trunk to make sure everything was there.

When she looked up she saw Snape was looking in the cupboard forlorn. He saw in purple marker Harry's room with a cot, the cot was never taken out of the cupboard since they used to throw her in there when she was particularly mouthy. And they didn't trust her in the house alone with Dudley's second bedroom, not until they had all those locks installed on the door.

Snape peered further in and saw a small picture of a family of three. It had the words lily James and freak written above each the corresponding stick figures.

Harry thought she should say something to defend herself but shrugged and began to drag her trunk outside. The less Snape knew the better. He didn't ask any questions and his expression almost changed to pity. He should have known this already from their occumulsy. It wasn't like she was able to hide her perfect childhood

Snape shrunk her stuff down and told her to pocket it. Petunia disappeared not wishing either of them goodbye.

They apparate without warning causing Harry to throw up upon landing. Snape sneered at her in disgust and cast a cleaning spell on her. 

"This isn't the weasleys" she scowled. "I'm not spending the rest of my summer with you."

"Like I would waste anymore of my time in spoiled brat. We're here because Dumbledore asked me to." He barked at her and entered the house. He had his wand out so Harriet figured she probably better do the same.

The inside of the house was absolutely destroyed. She wondered if it was death eaters but the famous symbol anywhere. Snape sauntered up to the chair which was the only thing standing up right and stabbed it hard with his wand.

It began to morph into a person and soon became a frumpy old man. " That hurt you know severus. And tell Dumbledore I'm not coming back" he yelled. He then noticed Harriet behind snape.

"Oh is she yours, severus? She has lily's eyes." He said fondly. Snape scoffed and told him he was delusional and stormed from the room in a huff. Harriet almost dropped her wand in surprise, she supposed her and snape had very similar features, she shuddered at the thought of snape being her dad.

Slughorn looked at Harriet fondly, he started to tell Harriet about her mother. Harriet knew she should have been happy to hear stories of her mother but she couldn't help but compare them to the stories of her father. Were they even inlove or did her father force her to love him? She still hated snape but would have her mother been happier with him.

Harriet got sick at the thought but continued to nod along with Slughorn's stories about Lily and snape. After about ten minutes Snape returned.

"Come Potter” he snapped “there is nothing here but a decrepit old man too scared of his own skin to be of any use to anyone" Slughorn rolled his eyes and slightly reached out towards Harry before he dropped it and looked away, slightly ashamed. Before she left she cast a soft glance at the old man and muttered her goodbyes.

Snape had a smirk on his face as they stood outside the driveway. she was about to ask him why when she heard slughorn call out to them. Slughorn was out of breath by the time he met them but between his gasping he said he would do it if they increased his pay. Snape nodded his smirk never leaving his face.

Snape gripped her arm tightly as before Harriet didn't even get a chance to hold her breath before she realized she was knee deep in the pond next to the weasleys. She cursed Snape but happily went and knocked on the door.

The rest of the summer was spent very happily at the Weasley's where she shared Ginny's room with her and hermione.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a little more than a week after arriving at the Weasley's that she had a dream with Tom again. She was lucid dreaming about taking a bath. The prefect’s bath during the triwizard tournament was the only bath she had ever got a chance to take. It wasn't rare for her to dream of thick bubbles and warm water surrounding her, she had dreamed of being a prefect for that reason alone, but she knew hermione was going to get it. Hermione was better at everything than Harry was.

She smiled and dreamed up a ball gown of bubbles. She willed herself to be able to stand on top of the water and once she was confident her mind wasn't going to let her fall, she began to dance. Large Bubbles left her finger tips as to accentuate her graceful movements.

"I never thought that the savior of the wizarding world would be dreaming of dancing bubbles. How disappointing..." She heard a scoff and all the bubbles immediately popped, besides her pink hued bubble gown which thankfully still covered everything.

"Well it's my dream.' She stammered trying to think of a good comeback but failed miserably. He smirked at her and rolled his eyes still leaning against the wall in amusement.

"I should have known that a girl would dream of dresses and dancing. Pity. I thought I was at least going to have a good challenge, but I guess I am just fighting a pathetic little girl." He drawled trying to get her famous temper to flare.

"Like you want a fair fight." she scoffed. "Got tired of killing babies?" Voldemort returned a glare. But Harriet could not hold hers as a bubble popped in his face, catching the dark lord slightly off guard. A huge grin appeared on her face as she imagined him in a dapper pink bubble suit to match her bubble dress.

When Tom noticed he tried to wipe the bubbles off but the bubbles immediately reformed. “Don't play with me potter. I am the dark lord and if you want your mudblood and blood traitor friends to live you will submit to me.”

“It's my dream and your my figment. So dance with me, dark lord” harriet tried to sneer but the thought of the dark lord dancing with her like some horny teen at a dance made her laugh.

He then stalked towards her and bowed holding out his hand. That made Harriet quit laughing, she was not good at dancing with a partner, she did not think this through. After the yule ball she vowed never to dance with someone again.

Harriet shakily took his hand though against her better judgment and he pulled her close.

"I don't like to dance with others" she stuttered and blushed. “And you're in my dream you can't tell me what to do.”

“You're the one who told me to dance with you, girl." he replied. Soon ballroom music began to play, it was something she never heard but it was beautiful. He took the lead and was quite the skilled dancer, her mind was distracted though and was slow to get the cues he gave her. She gave him a questioning look, how can she be playing a song she never heard. “And this is our dream sweet harriet…”

"Are you controlling my dream?" She asked as he spun her around on top of the water. Fear caused her feet to become slightly heavy and she slowly started to sink into the warm water.

"This is a shared mindscape. Somehow you have leaked threw my ocmulesy shields. And you somehow have more control here than i," He replied then frowned, he didn't know why he told her that. He continued to flawlessly dance with her pulling her close to his chest.

He thought back to all the ministry galas he attended, he mastered dancing to talk to pureblood women and gain their support. It had been extremely easy to gain their support with his incredible looks, his false heritage, and charming personality.

Harriet on the other hand kept sinking in fear. Her guilt caused the water surrounding her feet to turn ice cold and her fear kept causing her to sink. Voldemoret was in her dreams again, was he incontrol of the last one. She pushed him away, the man that killed her parents, and Cedric. She silently wished she had never been born, then everyone would be happy and alive.

"You need to let go of your worries." He murmured, he held out his hand but she refused to take it. Harriet looked up into his eyes, his crimson red ones clashed against her vibrant green. Harriet panicked causing the water to become unpredictable small waves that caressed her knees. 

Tom became slightly worried but calmed himself in a few breaths. She was going to collapse the mindscape and might break his shields he spent decades carefully crafting. He needed to calm her down. "Dance and tell me why you like such a mundane thing."

Harriet squeezed her eyes tight and thought back to her small bedroom at the Dursley that she had been locked in for weeks at a time. She remembered the first summer back from Hogwarts, the Dursley were watching a movie about Ballet while she did the dishes. She remembered the music, how graceful the women looked and how passionate. Harriet saw the wordless story the ballerina told, she was sure the dursleys missed. She never felt so inspired by something so normal, so muggle.

After that everytime she was locked in her room she practiced ballet, other forms as well but she had a special place in her heart for ballet. It made the time go by faster, and helped keep her sanity. when she went to Hogwarts she secretly read books about dancing. She was embarrassed to say she liked it, it was such a girly thing to like, she had been ashamed of it. 

She was the tom boy, best friends with Ron and seeker on the quidditch team. Would the guys abandon her if they knew she wasn't a complete tom boy? She never even told Hermione, she was afraid the girl would chastise her, like she did with her other dormmates, for liking girly things like make-up and how to attract boys. 

Tom watched in amazement as Harriet began to dance a form of ballet. Her eyes were squeezed shut but the water had calmed. The more she danced the higher she floated, dancing across the air like an angel. She looked so serene yet sad as she expressed her feelings. He saw memories play around her like a backdrop, enhancing the movements, as she told her story without uttering a single word.

His first thought was he had to make sure she doesn't lose control of her emotions. He did not experience emotions like others, but he could feel what Harry was feeling right now. It was an unfamiliar experience and as much as it hurt his chest, he wanted more. He wanted the young girl in front of him to lose control and give him the feelings he longed for since birth.

Harriet opened her eyes and fear quickly grappled her when she realized that she had floated high in the air without knowing. Her eyes immediately connected with riddles as felt herself plummet toward the large bath.

Riddle immediately leaped into action when he saw her fear. Before he even knew what happened, he was there ready to catch his fallen angel. The collision was softened by both of them splashing into the water. He held her tight and pulled her to the shallow end, he heaved her on top of his chest and held her close to him. As if part of him was scared that if he let her go, she would continue falling.

Both were breathing heavily and then Harriet began to laugh from the adrenaline. Harriet noticed she was laying on Tom's chest and Tom's arms were wrapped protectively around her. He sighed and put one of his hands behind his head and left the other one on the small of her back conveying he wanted her to stay put. Her body relaxed against his as if they were meant to be together, but her mind screamed for her to get off him,

Harriet got embarrassed when she noticed Tom was staring intently at her. It was as if he was having similar thoughts, and his actions don't reflect what his mind was telling him. Harriet blushed harder when she realized she had been staring at him during her musing.

"Be careful I'm beginning to enjoy you being on top of me" Tom whispered huskily, and raised his hips up slightly conveying what he expected to happen next. 

"No!" Harriet squealed and tried to get off him. He held her firmly and vanished there clothes. He flipped her onto the solid surface, and crawled on top of her, she tried to slap him but he caught her hands and held them above her head.

"You're just the little slut of the wizarding world. How many cocks have you had? 10? 12?" She continued to struggle against him becoming more and more panicked. It caused the room to become ice cold.

"None. I never had any! Except...." she trailed off and stopped struggling. Tom let go of her hands, shocked by what she just said and a little befuddled by what just came over him. It felt as if dementors had entered the dreamroom. He started feeling a prickling along the back of his neck, and the prefect pool beside them froze over with ice. 

He looked down to see Harriet begin to curl into herself and cry. Her skin was turning gray as she came to terms with the reality on their last visit together. Tom hadn't even considered that his last dream with the savior had actually involved her. He had just thought it was some dormant fantasy, he looked down at himself and became disgusted by his actions. He knew he was no knight in shining armour, but he thought he had enough sanity to not be like the adults at the orphanage.

"I lost my virginity to the man that killed my parents. You killed cedric. You're the reason Sirius is dead. And I...." she began to sob. The room became more cold and more...unfeeling as if all of the emotion was being sapped of it and there was nothing left. Before Tom could try to get Harriet back to normal he woke up in a sweat.


	4. Chapter 4

Harriet woke up and saw that Hermione and Ginny were still sleeping. She went downstairs and saw the sun begin to creep up over the horizon. She went outside and sat in the dewy grass far enough away where they would have to really be looking for her to find her. She wanted to be left alone to deal with her disturbing dream.

Harriet just stared off into the distance trying really hard not to think about it too much. She didn't understand why her body craved his touch or why he had been nice to her, except for the end but he still stopped. She didn't know if she should laugh or cry or rip her hair out. 

She didn't even notice Ron had come to get her for breakfast, he called out her name a few times, but it fell to a deaf ear. He sat down next to her and wrapped his around her like he often did when Ginny was having a bad day. Harriet broke out of her chance and jumped away from ron in shock asking when he got there.

He turned slightly red and said a while ago then told her his mom made breakfast. she mutely followed him back to the house, hoping he didn't bring up why she was in such deep thought.

Breakfast was an everyday wild affair at the weasleys. Everyone came to breakfast, even the twins and percy who no longer lived at the house, but Harry couldn't bring herself to laugh, smile, or eat like the rest of them. She didn't notice the worried glances everyone gave her as she carelessly pushed her food around her plate.

After breakfast, Ron and Ginny persistently tried to get her to go flying but Harry refused. Why should she enjoy herself when so many died because of her? Hermione offered her books and to help her with her unfinished essays. Harry reluctantly took the book but couldn't focus on any of the words and eventually set it down. 

Harriet retired early to bed, Mrs. Wealet practically forced her to eat something. Harriet tried not to notice the worried look on mollys face when she only managed to choke down a quarter of the sandwich. It reminded her of Sirius and Harriet had to bite back a sob. She thought of Sirius back at grimmauld manor and him still alive, it helped her hold in the impending sobs. 

Harriet didn't sleep, she just layed in bed for hours and stared at the ceiling. She heard Ginny and Hermione come in quietly and slip into bed trying not to wake her. Soon they began to lightly snore and Harriet sat up and ventured to the spot she sat this morning.

"I wish you were here Sirius." She said into the wind. She couldn't hold out much longer and sleep overcame her. She ended up in a large study with books lining the walls and a fireplace with sofas and a massive mahogany desk with Tom sitting behind studying one of the books intently.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up." He said not looking up from his book. Harriet didn't say anything just kept pinching her arm to try and wake herself up. "That won't work I put spells in place so that you can't damage the dreamscape again”

"Just let me out of here Tom. i just want to be alone'' she said with no emotion in her voice. He glanced up at her. Her appearance looked... cold. Her lips were slightly blue and her skin had the same grayish hue she had left the last dream with. She gave up on trying to pinch herself awake and slowly sunk to the floor, it looked almost as if she melted.

He worriedly got up from his desk and knelt beside her. He tentatively reached out and touched her shoulder, her skin was cold as liquid nitrogen and had a slime like texture that stuck to his hand when he yanked it back as if he was burned. He swiftly picked her up bridal style trying not to touch her exposed skin and tucked her into his bed. Her eyes still had a vacant look that would be more fitting on a corpse.

"Your hypothermic! What are you doing sleeping outside?" He questioned with concern, he didn't even bother to hide the worry laced in his voice. He knew even if she was sleeping outside in the north pole she wouldn't be this cold, something was freezing her from the inside. He climbed into bed next to her and forced her against his warm body, it stung him at first but he didn’t care. He just pulled her closer till she was practically on top of him.

He gasped as a pleasant electric feeling spread through his body emanating from his heart. The burning sensation from wherever their skin to skin contact turned into an almost euphoric pleasure. It was the most pleasurable experience that had ever happened to him. It felt like he was giving her his soul and magic, he briefly thought about trying to snap off the connection, but he couldn't bring himself to. There was something bigger at play, he knew he shouldn't be having feelings for the girl in his arms but he couldn't stop them. Even if he could stop the emotions, he wasn't sure he wanted to.

She rolled over and pressed her face into his chest. “Why are you doing this?” she asked barely above a whisper. Tom said nothing and started to stroke her hair. He felt his shirt get wet from her tears, as she silently cried. He could clearly feel her emotions, probably not near as strong as she was experiencing, but he could feel the despair, guilt, remorse. He could also feel her trying to void all emotions, to feel nothing at all, just like him.

“Have you ever done anything nice for anyone? Without anything in return or for your own gain?” she suddenly asked. She felt so calm and safe being tucked under him, but it just made her feel even more guilty. She wanted, no needed, him to have redeemable qualities, anything to quell her guilt.

Tom sighed and thought back. “Well there was one time when I was the head boy. The head girl was a gryffindor girl who claimed to be the descendant of godric gryffindor himself. Anyways she was head over heels in love with the smartest boy in Ravenclaw, I held the title of smartest man in school, the ravenclaw boy was a complete arsehole and she was young, dumb and blinded by love.   
Since we were head boy and girl our rooms were across from each other and one night when i got back from rounds i heard them fighting. I won't go into specific details but she had slept with him under the pretence that they were going to be in a relationship. He just laughed at her. He told her he was going to tell the entire school she was the head slut and would sleep with anyone.  
It may not be a huge deal now, but back in my time, it was a huge deal for women to be known as promiscuous, it could ruin her chances for a future husband. But men were expected to have a high... count. I personally never bought into any of that utter nonsense but that was the pureblood standard.   
When he left her room, he saw me and knew I had been listening, he smirked at me and asked if i wanted a go before she got run through by the whole school. In that moment I felt a rage that I never felt before, the stupid girl had always been nice to me, even though I was anything but. So I cast my first ever curse on him, anytime he mentioned her name or said he had sex with her, even hinted it, he would get a searing pain in his cock and it would shrink.  
She told me a week later that he didn't deserve it and she was the one at fault. I never did lift the curse though….”

He looked down and saw she had a small smile on her face, and her skin no longer had the gray hue “I knew you couldn't be totally evil, Tom” she sighed and disappeared from his arms.

He looked down at the empty spot and gave a sad smile. “But I am, sweet one, don't forget it.”


	5. Chapter 5

Harriet woke up to Ginny shaking her. When she finally came to, Harry realized she was still outside, Ginny threw herself at her hugging her tightly and started to cry. “Harriet please let us help you, if not everyone then someone please.” 

“It's okay, Ginny. I will be okay.” Harriet reassured her. Ginny looked unsure but pulled her back into a hug. They stayed like that for a long time, the frost had become morning dew on the grass and birds chirped at the peak of the morning sun. Harriet no longer felt the cold, it was as if something else was warming her, it also helped that Ginny brought out a charmed blanket for them to use.

They must have drifted to sleep cuddling each other because they woke up to Fred and George laughing at them saying how cute they looked. Ginny turned redder than her hair, but the twins told them that their secret late night escapade was safe with them. 

Harriet didn't dream of Voldemort for the rest of the summer, but she barely slept. She only slept when Ginny climbed into bed at night. For some reason that put her mind to ease and allowed her to rest without worrying about Voldemort. Sometimes she would find herself longing for him, the emptiness both comforted and disstrest her.

She began to feel bad for using Ginny as her comfort pillow, she loved her as a friend, a sister even. Harriet thought that maybe in a different time or after the war they could develop into a relationship but not now. 

After a few days of cuddling with her Harriet couldn't take it and told Ginny that she only loved her as a friend, fearing that the girl would be heartbroken, Harriet had prepared to move the grimmauld place to sleep. Ginny just laughed and gave her a knowing smile and said not to worry she had her eyes on someone else and that her love interest wouldn't mind her sharing a bed to comfort her.

That day Ginny had asked Fred to combine their beds. Fred then of course told George about their baby sisters wanting to share a bed. Both Harry and Ginny had a laugh though, the twins had actually threatened Ginny about hurting Harriet and not the other way around. Ginny told them quietly that Harriet had been having nightmares about Tom like she used too and they both understood. They also threw in a charm to make it look like there were still 3 beds in the room.

Hermione had become uncomfortable about the two of them sharing a bed, knowing about Ginny's girlhood crush on Harriet. Harriet mentioned it to Ginny and Ginny just rolled her eyes and laughed then said she would hermione a formal invite tonight to join them.

It was awkward to say the least. Hermione wasn't exactly on board with the idea saying it was improper. 

“We aren't shagging, we are just protecting each other's dreams. Haven't you heard of dream magic? That's why when you have a bad dream when you're a kid you go to sleep with your parents! I heard even muggles do it!” ginny exclaimed. She was already in the bed taking the left side. Hermione was still on her own and Harriet was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room unsure of what to do.

Hermione still looked like she wasn't convinced but still wanted to test the theory. She then moved to the right side of the large bed, leaving the middle open for harriet. Harry nervously took the middle and tried to ease the tension with a bad joke, both Ginny and Hermione playfully punched and then burst out laughing. Harriet felt loved and momentarily forgot all the pain that she believed she caused.

Hermione still didn't exactly believe in dream protecting but she still slipped into the bed with them every night anyways.

Tom was worried when Harriet didn't show up in his dreams. He could feel her but he couldn't reach her. He tabbed through many dark magic books and couldn't find an answer. There was no way Harriet was powerful enough to break the connection, she had no clue how to control her emotions or occlude her mind. It had to be an extremely powerful spell cast by a wizard of dumbledore's caliber to protect her

He eventually admitted defeat and summoned Bellatrix. She was always at his beck and call and his most loyal follower. But he did not exactly like her, of course he had used her multiple times for his own pleasure and in turn gave her more reign than any of his death eaters in his inner circle, but she was a mad woman and did not have solid mine. But she did have knowledge pertaining to odd ancient magic and she had generations of knowledge from the Blacks.

“What do you know of dream magic?” he asked her. Her face immediately dropped in disappointment when she realized that this was a strictly business call.

“Nothing much, just the astral projections and protective magic.” she shrugged. She leaned over his desk so that her breast was in his line of site.

“Enlighten me” Tom commanded. He stood up and walked around his desk, not in the mood to entertain the woman with her girlish fantasies.

She began to tell him about how you can project in your sleep and if you are in control of your projections you can enter people's dreams. You could cause them to have nightmares or make them submit to you, you can completely control their dreams. But it was very rare or took a lot of training to masterfully accomplish. It was only easy to do if you were soulbounded with another person. 

The most common way to protect against dream hijacks was to sleep with a partner. It doesn't always work, there has to trust, love and loyalty. The stronger the love is, the more powerful your mind is protected at night.

“So if a bunch of people sleep in the same room they will be protected?” Tom asked curiously. Bellatrix gave a loud cackle, immediately regretting when she remembered it was the dark lord she was speaking with. He shot her glare but nodded for her to continue.

“It only works if you are in the same bed and touching and sometimes it doesn't work if you don't trust the person.” Bellatrix continued. “Excuse my bluntness my lord but how do you not know this?” 

“I've looked in every dark magic book I could find on dreams. There was nothing about this.” he said, he had assumed it was dark magic because he had read almost every light magic book in hogwarts and there was no mention of it.

“Hmm, try parenting books,” Bellatrix said. Tom shot her a look that said are you fucking kidding me. “When you were a kid and had a nightmare you would sleep in bed with your parents and it would protect your dreams. Parenting books should explain the pros and cons of letting a child sleep in the same bed to protect against nightmares.” Bellatrix immediately realized her blunder and started apologizing, he held up his hand silencing her. He thought about crucioing her but she had provided useful insight so he took her voice away for the rest of the day instead.


	6. Chapter 6

For the first time Harriet wasn't sure if she was excited to go back to hogwarts. The few weeks at the Weasleys had been the happiest Harriet felt since last christmas, the last time she saw sirius. And of course, both Ron and Hermione making prefects, Harry knew this year was going to be a lonely year. She was a little excited that she was made quidditch captain but she had a sense of dread that this year was going to be the worst year yet.

She enjoyed her trained ride with Neville, Luna, and Ginny, since Ron and Hermione had to go to meetings. It was refreshing to have their carefree attitudes. Luna and Ginny were getting a little too cozy causing Neville to blush. They broke apart when the compartment door was slammed open and the most popular girl in school stepped through the door with her gang of lackeys tailing behind her.

“Hello Harriet, I'm Romilda Vane. Why don't you come and enjoy my company? you don't have to sit with them” she said pointedly looking at neville who had been trying to grab Trevor from under the seat.

“No thanks, these are my friends” Harry said simply.

“Oh... well if you get bored of them you can always come by my carpetment.'' She said still kinda shocked that Harry turned her down to be with the rejects of the school. “And Harriet you might want to lay off the sweets, right now you look healthy but this is the heaviest I've ever seen you” 

With that she turned around and flaunted away. Ginny looked extremely angry and wanted to hex her but Harriet just laughed saying she wasn't concerned about her. She was just insecure and trying to maintain an image. It wasn't right but wasn't out of malice.

“She was right though you are two instead of one now.” luna replied. They all gave her a quizzical look but Harriet laughed and told Luna thanks.

Near the end of the train ride, she noticed a lot of the death eater’s kids moving to the back of the train. Harriet made an excuse to go to the bathroom and followed Malfoy to the back with her invisibility cloak. She unfortunately didn't find out any information by the time they made it to hogwarts.

She waited for everyone to leave but Malfoy said he was going to catch up with them later. Harriet knew she was caught and before she could even reach for her wand malfoy cast a stunning spell. 

“Have a nice ride back to london, whore” he looked so smug that Harriet just wanted to punch that look right off his face, she panicked slightly when she couldnt move, she could barely even blink. Malfoy laughed at her pain and threw a punch connecting with her nose. He took the invisibility cloak and covered her so no one would notice she never left the train.

Harry struggled to move for a long time, after Ron and Hermione passed her twice while doing their prefect rounds she gave up. Maybe it was for the best, she could go to London and go to Grimmauld place. Where she wouldn't put everyone in danger again. And no one will die again because of her, Harriet closed her eyes at the pleasant thought.

She opened her eyes and appeared to be in the gryffindor common room with Tom Riddle sitting in one of the deep red chairs by the fireplace. “You have been avoiding me, harriet.'' Tom said in a low voice that sent shivers down her spine.

“I haven't, I thought you were the one who broke the connection. You said you control it.'' Harriet sputtered, defending herself. 

In some weird fucked up she had really missed Tom, but he was like liquor, he may take her pain away temporarily but he was worse for her in the end. But as liquor had been her summer addiction, Tom started to become her fall one. She tentatively made her way closer to him knowing that every step towards him was her admitting that she wanted him.

Tom must have felt the same because he got up and met her half way. “What happened to your face?” he muttered softly, he caressed her cheek and gently touched her broken nose. 

“Malfoy stunned me then punched me in the nose… then covered me with the invisibility cloak. So now I'm probably headed back to london now” Harry shrugged. She looked around the room sadly, she really was going to miss this place. She only had two years left before she would never be back again. And she already wasn't going back this year.

She felt Tom wipe away her tears wipe away her tears before she even knew they were freely flowing. He told her fiercely that she was going to hogwarts. Before Harriet could even ask how, she felt Tom break the connection and force her awake.

She awoke to luna standing over her. She tried to move her arms and surprisingly was met with only a little resistance. Luna cast finite incantatem and Harriet was able to move freely. They both got off the train seconds before it departed.

Harriet felt bad when she realized she caused Luna to miss the carriages and it was a far walk to the castle. Harriet apologized several times, but luna said she didn't mind. Luna started talking excitedly about seeing the foul trestle again and how she hoped the nargles would be nicer this year. 

Luna continued to talk about other odd creatures that no one else believed in. Harriet wasn't exactly sure she believed in any of them either, but Luna did, very passionately, and that's what mattered. And besides Luna had known about trestles, even when no one else could see them, so she could be right about everything else .

They made it to Hogwarts grounds and unfortunately, out of all teachers, ran into a seething Snape. “Already starting to cause trouble, potter? 20 points from gryffindor and months detention for no concern of others safety and missing the carriages… and dragging another student into danger, again '' Harriet felt like she had been slapped in the face with the last part. She could tell Luna was about to defend her but Harriet grabbed her hand and slightly shook her head. She didn't want Luna to get into trouble with her

“You two wait here until the rest of the teachers and I finish casting the wards. I don't want you two to get lost again on the way to the castle.” Snape sneered, no surprise it was all directed at Harriet, but Harriet was thankful Luna wasn't getting in trouble. While they waited luna fixed her broken nose and continued talking creatures Harriet never heard of.

Snape listened to the two of them talk and frowned. He knew Luna was the most bullied student in Hogwarts, just as he was. He wondered what Potter was playing at. Was he trying to lull the girl in a false sense of security to humiliate the poor girl later. He had assumed the girl only went with Potter last year because the lovestruck Weasley girl went. He would never believe Potter actually likes the odd ravenclaw girl.

The wards were up and Snape told the girls to follow him. “Do you mind if we make a small detor, professor? It won't take long and i don't believe the sorting even started” luna asked in her sweet airy voice. Snape nodded his head slightly, he had two softs spots, slytherins and students bullied by Potters. Luna skipped ahead and started to sing an odd little song,

Snape's eyes widened in discomfort as both Luna and Harry had bright smiles on their faces. A young threstles winnied in joy at the sight of the two of them. He didn't realize luna was able to see them too. He had known her mother, she was a brilliant potions maker with some of the most daring experiments that saved the lives of thousands. He had heard that her daughter had been with her when the particular accident occurred but he had assumed that her child was too young to understand what happened. 

“You have grown so big” Harriet mumbled to the yearling threastle. Luna placed her head against the foul and told Harry that they gave their condolences regarding Sirius' death. Harry's smile faded and cast a small glance at snape. Snape muttered they needed to be getting back.

Harriet and Luna bade their goodbyes to the threastles and headed to the castle. When they got to the entryway Snape told Harriet to stay and sent Luna off the feast. Snape immediately started to sneer at her and chastised her for being a bully to Luna.

Harriet tried to defend herself, she really liked Luna, but Snape kept comparing her to her father and Sirius when they were in school. Harriet couldn’t take it anymore and bolted away from Snape before she cast an unforgivable on him. She didn't even notice that the invisibility cloak had slipped from her robe pocket.

Snape smiled maliciously when he saw that infernal cloak slip from her pocket. He watched as she passed the great hall and thought this was the perfect opportunity to show the true face of Harriet potter. A mean, malicious student who enjoyed cruel pranks.

He followed her down towards the dungeons. Snape anger flared slightly as she ventured towards the slytherin dorms but she made a sharp left towards a place in the castle not even he went. 

“Sir Nicholas!” Harriet called out happily. Nicholas cried out joyfully and met to greet her.

“I'm happy to see you Harriet but why are you not at the welcoming feast?” Nicholas asked. Harriet shifted uncomfortable and nearly headless Nick led her off to the side so they could talk more privately.

Harriet started to ask Nick about becoming a ghost. Nick sighed and sunk into the ground to look Harriet in the eyes. He explained to her that Sirius wasn't going to become a ghost. He would have had to fear death more than anything else in the world, and it was something Nick himself would not wish on his worst enemies.

“Have you mourned sirius properly? It's okay if you feel sad and miss him. You're allowed to grieve, harriet.'' Nicholas asked, trying to console the poor girl. “ And Harriet I heard what happened and it's not your fault, I want you to know that. You did not cause his death”

“THere wasn't even a body. He just fell through the veil and disappeared.” Harriet cried. It was the first time she cried for the death of sirius and not the guilt of causing his death. It made her cry harder when she realized that. 

she wished she would have visited the grimmauld place before she came to hogwarts.

Snape watched the scene and became uncomfortable, he knew he was intruding on a private moment. He hadn't thought of the emotional distress the girl would have been in all summer. He didn't think the Potter girl and Sirius had been that close to each other, they only knew each other for a year or two at most.

Her aunt said Harriet was particularly difficult this summer, often coming back early in the morning smelling of liquor. Snape had just chalked it up to her father having always been a fan of alcohol, even at a young age, besides the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

After drying her eyes Harriet said her goodbyes to Nicholas and headed away from the dungeons but still didn’t head back to the great hall. Snape followed her to the kitchens and rolled his eyes. She was going to make the house elves make her a special meal when there was a feast going on right now? Where she was supposed to be at! He still followed her through the secret entryway so that he could get her in trouble and scare her in the process. 

But to his surprise Harriet was hugging a strangely dressed house elf. Harriet actually seemed to be good friends with the odd little creature. Snape looked closer; it was Lucius' old house elf! He saw Harriet take a pair of brightly multicolored socks from her pocket and give them to Dobby. The little elf squealed in delight and told Harry if she ever needed anything to just ask. Harriet just laughed and said that all she needed was their friendship. She left the kitchen with her favorite treat that dobby insisted she take.

Snape followed feeling uneasy about the whole exchange and remembered the purple sign of Harry's room in the broom closet. He shuddered, was he wrong about everything pertaining to her? He always assumed she was a spoiled brat and given a chance she would turn out to be just like her father. 

But she was genuine friends with the weird girl, the ghosts, and a house elf. she was still biased against slytherins, she was very disrespectful to all adults, and had no concern for her own safety. Snape tried to console himself, he didn't want to think he spent the last five years bullying an abused orphan child that was nice to all creatures and students alike

He watched her stand in front of the trophy case. He couldn't see what she was staring at but it was in a case older than her parents time. “I hate that i need you Tom.” she said out loud. Snape almost gasped in shock, not the dark lord Tom. He failed lily.

Snape took off the cape and cleared his throat. Harry nearly jumped out of her skin. “You should be in the great hall, your friends are starting to worry” he handed her the cloak. She murmured her thanks and looked back sheepishly at the special service award for Tom M riddle. 

Snape wanted to say something, but he didn't. He just watched her rush out the trophy room and finally made her way to the great hall. Snape ran his hands through his hair. She was getting played by the dark lord and he couldn't stop it.


	7. Chapter 7

Hermione was beating Ron with a book when she walked into the great hall. She got up and hugged her. Ron asked her what happened and she said she would tell them when they get back to the common room. Hermione made a point that she still had to eat and Harriet rolled her eyes but sat down and let Hermione fill her plate.

Harriet went to bed worried she would dream of being with Tom again. Still not coming to terms with the fact that her body craved his touch, her soul craved their bond, and her magic craved his. 

“Is this going to be an every night thing?”Harriet asked with a mix of worry and hope. Tom chuckled and pulled her into his lap. They were in his study again.

“Harriet dear, from my research, you are my soul bonded. That means your mine.” Tom said and pulled her closer. Harriet struggled slightly but she didn't break away.

“What happened to you trying to kill me? You have been really… different this past month.” harreit said, trying not to look a gift horse in the mouth, as a muggle would say.

“I have been putting the pieces of my soul back together, it has brought some sanity back to me. I realised what I have lost in the search for immortality.” tom explained. 

“What do you mean? So all of sudden we start having dreams together and you start behaving super nice and think we are soulmates or something?” Harriet asked, now worried for her sanity.

Harriet rested her hand on his heart. Everyone said that Voldemort was incapable of love that's why he ruled out of fear. She thought of all the love and loss in her life and wished for Voldemort to have the feeling of love like she was able to. Maybe then he would have never been a crazy tyrant. 

Tom felt excruciating pain in his chest, he remembered feeling the effects of the emotions Harriet felt when she was depressed. It was a hundred times worse than that, it was like he was experiencing these emotions for himself.

“What did you do? I feel terrible” he gasped in pain. Harriet looked worried but kept her hand firmly over his heart, it felt like she was giving her soul to him. 

Tom pushed her off him and fell to the floor grasping at his chest. “A heart's a heavy burden,” Harriet said quietly, kneeling beside him. He shook his head. He didn't want to feel anything remotely close to love, it was a weakness. But when he looked up at her, he had a small thought that maybe this wasn't such a bad thing.

They sat close to each other on the sofa. Tom asked her about what classes she was taking and how she usually does in her school years. She told him and they talked about their favorite classes. Tom told her he once applied to be the DADA teacher but was turned down; then admitted he cast a curse so no teacher would last more than a year. She scowled at him but then told him that last year she created a club and taught a lot of students DADA since their teacher had been less than useless. She told him she wished she knew more about DADA but she only had the text books and was usually too busy trying to stay alive to really dive deep in her studies.

Tom thought for a moment then got up and pulled a book from the shelf. “In my quest for knowledge I found several ancient spells that could be used to store books in one's memory and use their knowledge.” he said then handed her the book. It was the sixth year DADA book. “Here I’m confident that i can use the link to share some knowledge with you. We will have to test your limits and make sure you practice the spells in this book as well, just because you have the knowledge doesn't mean you have the practical.”

“Wow this is so cool why doesn't everyone do this?” Harriet wondered as a bunch of new spells were ready on her mind she stood up and tested a few. They worked perfectly for her. She tried one that seemed a little more complicated and got it on the 3rd try! She also knew information about the spell that not even hermione might not know!

“Because if not used properly it will turn all your other memories to mush and you would only be able to recite the words off the page not even properly use the spells.” Tom told her carelessly. Harrriet gulped at the thought. She looked through the book that had just been imprinted into her mind and noticed that her mind had a lot more information than the book had. She asked Tom why that was and he said he must have passed some his own knowledge from other books and his experiences during the transfer.

Morning came too soon but Harriet awoke with the brightest smile on her face. This year she was going to become the best student, better than her best friend! No more having to worry about her impending death because her future murder was now her tutorer!

Or so she thought, first class was with professor snape, defence against the dark arts. Harriet almost caused a scene when she saw that Snape had been their new defense teacher. She whispered to Hermione asking what happened to slughorn. Hermione replied he was the potions professor. Harriet wanted to cry in frustration.

The first thing snape did was have them all line up and he cast a spell on each of them. It was painless and nothing happened to anyone except harriet. When he silently cast the spell on her she noticed a faint yellow glow appear around her. No one was paying close enough attention, but Harriet saw a look of concern past over snapes for. It was barely there for a millisecond but it was there.

He barked at Harriet to go to dumbledore's office immediately. Harriet yelled that it was unfair and she didn't even do anything. Snape took away points and told her to go now or a month's detention, begrudgingly Harriet went, muttering how Snape was a biased bigot who had a chip on his shoulder. It was so unfair she has already been singled out twice by Snape as she hasn't even been here for a full day.

Harriet rattled off a bunch of muggle candies but nothing happened. She punched the stone wall in frustration and slid down against it clutching her knees. Snape appeared after a few minutes and said the password, he didn't even glance at Harriet. 

“Ah severus and harriet dear. What brings you two to my office so early in the year?” dumbledore asked curiously. Harriet opened her mouth to speak but Snape cut her off.

“Harriet needs to be dropped from my class and probably potions as well. Maybe even all of them with the amount of trouble she gets in” snape said.

“Wait what why? I got an O in defence. You can't just kick me out of class because you don't like me!” Harriet exclaimed. Why would Snape want to kick her out of all her classes? 

“Well miss Potter, you can endanger the life of your unborn child '' Snape said smugly. Harriet's face dropped. She couldn’t be pregnant; it was only one time in a dream. Unless it was those three men that she had a very vague memory of. She shuddered and tears leaked out of her eyes. 

“Harriet dear, do you know how this happens?” Albus asked more out of surprise than anything. He saw the look of fear and confusion cross her face. There haven't been many pregnant students in hogwarts. Most knew contraceptive spells that were 100% effective or the cast a morning after spell. 

“I don't know. I don't remember… I can't be”She stuttered. Harriet wished the world would swallow her whole. Was it the dark lord's baby? Was she raped? Was she like the muggle virgin mary? What was she going to do? A million thoughts continue to fly threw her mind

“Severus you may leave. And you understand not to tell anyone about Harriets predicament.” dumbledor ordered. Snape understood and went back to his class, he thought he was going to feel great about taking Potter down a peg, but the recent interactions made him feel sorry for the girl. His tiny heart broke when he heard her start to cry, it sounded just like lily.

Harriet started thinking about the baby, she always wanted a family. Could she get rid of it? Do wizards even allow that? She already vowed she wouldn't let anyone else die for her. This baby inside of her didn't deserve to die, just like cedric, sirius, and her parents didn't deserve to die.

“Now Harriet the spell will be quick and painless and you can continue on with your future.” dumbledoor said and prepared to cast the spell. He thought it best to get rid of the spawn before Harriet became attached to the idea. 

“Wait what?” Harry said momentarily confused. “You're not killing my baby. It's mine!”

Harriet cast a protego and stood firmly against the old man. She was not going to be responsible for another death. It was her mistake for getting drunk. She made so many mistakes but she swore on silently to herself, she would be the best mother she could be.

“Harriet you can't face the dark lord pregnant.” dumbledor tried to reason. He tried to get her to look in his eyes and reason with her for the greater good. He told her it was irresponsible for someone so young you don't even know what life is yet to give into a mistake, that is so easily fixable. 

The more he talked the angrier Harriet got. He just wanted her for this stupid war, that she didnt even want to fight in. She always thought dumbledore liked her, but she saw she was only a pon in his game of chess. She just wanted everyone to leave her alone for one.

“I'm keeping my baby.” Harriet interrupted dumbledore's monologue. “I'm keeping my classes too.” she yelled in a huff before she exited completely. Damn it all.

Harry continued to her classes like nothing happened. When asked why she was sent to the headmaster's office she just said it was because Snape was trying to get her in trouble for something she didn't do, they believed her without questioning without a second thought. She wasn't planning on taking potions but since snape was no longer the teacher she thought she might as well give it a try. 

Ron was dragged along with her too since McGonagall that he was having too much fun. Neither of them had a text book and Harry ended up with the ratty one in the back corner. But it was extremely well used and had a lot of useful notes in it.

With the notes she was able to complete the most perfect potion she ever made. Which peeved Hermione to no end. 

Harriet had to finish her day with detention with snape. Where he made her scrub all the cauldrons for potions she didn't mind though it was easy work. She was scared he was going to bring the pregnancy, or the cupboard or anything from yesterday. But surprisingly he didn't. He didn't even say a word to her, he just pointed to the cauldrons without looking up from the essays that they did in class.


	8. Chapter 8

That night she had another dream with Voldemort and told him about the half blood prince book. He taught her more spells and started to teach her about wizard culture. She was surprised how she didn't learn any of this at Hogwarts. Hogwarts was celebrating muggle holidays, but not wizarding ones? 

She really liked talking to Tom, she knew in the future it was going to hurt, good things don't last for her. She began to think of Tom and Voldemort as two separate beings. She felt connected to Tom, more than just their dreams. 

She wanted to tell him she was pregnant but she didn't have the courage. She was afraid he would stop talking to her or make her get rid of the baby. He could be the father, but there was a greater chance that it was the muggles. 

Tom noticed near the end that something was bothering harriet. He set the book down he had been studying and put her in his bed. He figured it had to do with him and his past self ruining her life. He didn't ask, for fear he would be right. He just kissed her forehead and told her not to worry.

The next day Snape decided to call her out in defence, again. He bet her 50 points that she couldn't cast a silent protego against one of his spells. Harriet immediately took the bet, but countered saying if she won then she would teach the rest of class.

Snape took her bet and they began to duel. Snape immediately cast several strong wordless spells, Harriet blocked them with ease and began to taunt snape. She could tell he was surprised but tried not to give it away. She tried sneakily cast a few in return but he had blocked them like they were nothing. 

They continued to fire spells until they were both panting. Harriet finally got the upper hand when she yelled protego but cast expelliarmus. She was surprised it worked and so was everyone else, it was practically unheard of to do. They all stared at her in shock before gryffindor lost their minds and cheered so loud the room shook.

Snape bowed but said nothing and went to grading papers. He was upset he lost to a 16 year old, but very concerned because there was only one other person in the world he knew that could cast a spell while saying another. And it wasn't Albus Dumbledore.

Harry smiled at the class and the begrudged slytherins. She cast all the desks to the side so that they had an open floor and began to teach the theory of silent spells.

“Does anyone know why it's vital in a duel to know some silent spells?” she asked. A slytherins hand caught her eye first so she called on the girl.

“So that they don't know what spell it is and gives them the element of surprise.” she squeaked in surprised when she was called on. Daphne expected this to be another gryffindor favorited class.

“Very good five points to slytherin?” she cast a look back to snape, who nodded. A bunch of students' mouths dropped. Potter gave the snakes points? This was ridiculous. 

“Now everyone first we are going to practice our defensive charms, who can demonstrate one?” she saw Neville boldly put his hand and she called on him. He cast a flawless silent protego, one that they worked on last year. “Very good ten points to gryffindor! Who can tell me what spell that was?”

“Protego?” pansy called out. Harriet gave Slytherin five points and asked for another volunteer but using a different protective charm. Herminoe volunteered and Harry gave her the floor. She cast a very good diffindo which Harriet awarded 10 points for and seamus was the one who figured it out.

Harriet asked for one more volunteer for another defensive spell and Draco stepped forward. His first cast attempt he had to move his lips slightly so Harriet encouraged him to try again and that he almost got it. He did and cast the charm without having to move his lips.

“Very very good draco.20 points and ten points to whoever can tell me what spell that was?” Everyone looked around at each other but not even Hermione knew. Snape scoffed in the background.

‘I doubt you even know that ms. potter. So tell me what does that spell do?” Snape sneered at her. Harriet just rolled her eyes, like the spell was as common as protego.

“It's a refectling charm.” Harriet said smugly.

“And why is it not the preferred protecting charm?” 

“Because the shield shape is often unpredictable so if you are in a battle you can end up bouncing the spell to one of your mates.” she replied with ease. Snape glared at her but returned to his desk.

“Now i know silent spells are extremely hard to cast. And if you haven't practiced them then they might be difficult to figure out. If you can confidently cast silent spells please come to this side of the room and if you never tried or are unsure please stay on this side.'' Most of the gryffindors went to the left and only a handful of slytherins joined, which made Harriet feel a little guilty.

“Okay this side pair up and i want you to silent duel with each other. The offensive spells you can use are expelliarmus and jelly leg hex, for now. We don't want to injure anyone, we just want to learn.'' Everyone paired up and began their duels.

Harriet went over to the other side and just had them practice the spells allowing them to at first whisper and move their mouth. She told them to keep practicing and the more confident they are the spell would work, the easier it is to cast. Once she was sure they understood she made her rounds with her notebook like she did in DA.

“Draco while casting protego makes sure you don't hunch. Even though you want to make your body a smaller target you need to stand strong for the protego to be its strongest. Ron same to you.” they both nodded and tried it, amazed at how different it felt.

Snape watched amused as the girl took control of his classroom. To his amazement she was fair and knowledgeable and had a great talent for teaching. She knew a surprising amount of information that was not in their textbooks. He sighed he knew he should brooch the subject of occmulsley to dumbledor. 

When class ended everyone almost everyone had managed to cast a silent spell. Harriet was proud of herself and was pretty smug until Snape told her to stay behind.

“It's more important to cast a silent offensive spell then defensive. You're dismissed.” Harriet wanted to argue but she knew he was right. Why didn't she think of that? But she knew most the gryffindors could cast silent offensive and that was their next lesson in DA, before it got shut down, was offensive. She shuddered guiltily. She had to protect Slytherin too, their deaths couldn’t be on her hands, too.

That night snape didn't have her clean cauldrons for detention instead he asked for the notebook she was taking notes in class with. She pulled it out and handed it over, she also handed him her DA notes and lesson plans.

“This is very comprehensive.” Snape said looking over the notes from last year. Her and Hermione had teaching plans and duel partners and individual files on everyone, including their strongest spells, the most used spells and status of spells.

Snape carefully read each one and was surprised at how well these were planned. It was an individual teaching plan for every student in that blasted little club. No wonder gryffindor did so well today.

“You can continue to teach if you start mastering occmulsey,'' Snape told her. Harriet thought for a minute then agreed. She decided she didn't want to be an aurora, she wanted to become a teacher.

The rest of the month went quite the same except add quidditch into the mix. She still loved the sport but noticed ginny loved it more. The younger girl often frew up new plans and had brilliant ideas for practice. Harriet wondered if she should just pass the torch to Ginny but with a bunch of other sixth years on the team she wasn't sure if they would be as cohesive if she did.

For the first part of every dream she and Tom would go over a book, he taught her a lot about defense and occmulsuy, even though she was scared of losing her connection with him. She could tell he enjoyed teaching, he was very thorough and expected a lot out of her. Harriet worked hard to please him, and after she accomplished her lesson for the night they would cuddle in a chair or bed and share their past and hopes with each other. Harriet would sometimes randomly laugh when she thought of Voldemort spilling his guts out like a teenage girl. But she wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

And Snape was less of an arse hole to her and they actually did very well as co teachers. The detentions became lesson plans and with both of the teaching the class they were able to get through lessons much faster than anticipated. Harriet suggested that they look at the past years defense against the dark arts book since they really only learned their fourth and fifth year.

Snape agreed since he didn't want to get too far ahead of the ravenclaw/ hufflepuff class. He thought about asking Dumbledore if he could pull Harry for assistance to teach that class with him as well. But he dismissed the idea immediately, they may work well together professionally, but she still acted like a teenager.


	9. Chapter 9

bout a week into October Harry started to get morning sickness. Snape gave her a potion to stop the vomiting along with nutrient supplement potions. He told her he had been slipping the supplement into her tea at detention. This caused Harry to get nervous about the baby, she knew she wasn't eating enough, she had honestly almost completely forgotten she was even pregnant.

Dumbledor also requested that she train with him. The lessons were not what she expected at all. She imagined learning spells that would defeat the dark lord or powerful protection spells. She did not expect to be taking trips down memory lane. It felt so forbidden to see these memories. Some of them she recognized from Tom's stories, like the first time he met dumbledore. 

Dumbledor had then told her that Tom was already showing psychopathic tendencies by keeping trophies from his victims. But Harriet just saw herself sneaking broken toys away from Dudley to play with because her aunt and uncle refused to let her have anything of her own.

She didn't know how she felt about seeing the memories. Tom was obviously crying for help, but everyone ignored him because he was different. It was one thing to talk to Tom about it, but to see it happen in front of her, she would never wish that on anyone. 

Of course she was raised the same way and she didn’t turnout to be a mass murder, but she technically could be blamed for more deaths. That thought alone made her sick, she killed more people at 16 then Voldemort did. He only killed Myrtle and she was fairly certain now that it had been an accident the girl was just in the wrong place at the wrong time

Harriet actually killed someone on purpose, she used her hands to kill Quirrell her first year. She indirectly caused so many deaths, she dragged an incompetant professor down to the chamber of secrets, lockhart only lost his memory not his life, but wasn't living, she destroyed apart of Toms soul, she took Cedric straight to voldemort, she took all her friends straight to voldemort and led sirus to his death. 

She hadn't realized she was on the floor hyperventilating. Dubmbledor kept phasing in and out of her vision, all she could think about was her child growing an orphan. Just like her and just like voldemort.

After two weeks of going to these lessons she finally told Tom what dumbledore was teaching her. He became so furious at her that cut the connection. She woke up as soon as the connection broke and cried heartbroken. Hermione slipped into her bed and held her tightly telling her it was okay for her to cry.

The next day was rough for Harry. She was unfocused in all her classes and had a couple blunders but the worst thing that happened was occumulsy with snape.

Usually Snape just saw stuff from Hogwarts and the occasional childhood memory. But Tom broke their connection and he wasn't protecting her now. The first memory that Snape found was the night of her last birthday, the night she got pregnant.

She watched the memory unfold, the memory itself was hard to understand. It was hazy at times and black spots occured when she was blacking out. 

But Snape saw her too drunk to stand and men pulling her past into the woods. They watched as the muggles ripped her clothes and herself wishing for voldemort. The memory got extremely hazy but in the haze they could see herself in a passionate embrace with tom. 

The next memory was her and Tom looking ridiculous in bubble clothes dancing. Snape kept devouring her memories with Tom. when they laughed together, cried together, when he was a complete utter arsehole to her. She tried as hard as she could to stop Snape, but she couldn’t. Snape found what he was looking for and he wasn't going to stop until he saw all of them. 

She stared at Snape wide eyed and then started sobbing. “I don't know who the father is? I dont know if i convinced myself that Tom saved me from rape. I don't know if Tom is using me. I'm scared all the time that he will kill me and take the baby.” harreit confessed all her fears to Snape, it felt good to finally tell someone, even if was her second least favorite teacher of all time.

Snape hugged her awkwardly. He didn't know what to say. He had grown to care for the girl, seeing her as Lily's daughter instead of James’s spawn. He wanted to make things right by her. It was the least he could do for her and for his greatest friend. He gave her a dreamless sleep potion and sent her to bed. Now he was going to have to confront the dark lord.

Harriet cried on her way back to the dorms and silently wished that she was never pregnant.

Snape apparate to the Malfoy Manor and requested an audience with the Dark Lord. Snape was surprised when Voldemort appeared as the attractive man that Harriet had been dreaming of. No more pale skin and snake like features before him was a charismatic man that had evil crimson eyes that voided all emotion.

“Severus, I heard you have some news for me?” he said, Severus bowed and stayed on his knees,

“Yes my lord, the Potter child has been getting lessons from Dumbledor about your upbringing.” Snape said, trying to figure the best way to bring up Harriets dreams.

“I see and does anyone else know of this knowledge, her friends perhaps?” the Dark Lord questioned.

“No my lord, it seems she has been keeping them a secret. It appears she has felt that you two are kindred souls... on the matter of upbringing.” Snape said carefully. 

“And what do you know of Potters upbringing?” he asked, snidely. Snape hesitated and made the mistake of looking into the Dark Lord's eyes. Voldemort legitimised him and broke the first shield in Snape's mind. It took a lot more power than Tom wanted to admit but there he saw all the memories Snape had acquired from Harriet. 

What Tom saw made him feel regret; he knew from talking with her that she didn't have the nicest upbringing, but he didnt realize it was almost a carbon copy of his childhood. He had thought that because her family was her blood she would have had a better life than him and from the intel from his Death Eaters, she was a spoiled gryffindor princess that was well guarded all the time. What he saw borderline abuse, no wonder the girl was so quick to fall for him.

Tom soaked up as many memories as he could. He ripped through Snape's mind finding every little piece he could about Harriet. But there was one spot in Snape's mind he could not penetrate, Tom knew it had to with the girl. He was going to see that memory even if he had to break Snape's mind.

Snape moved all his shields to prevent the Dark Lord from seeing harriets pregnancy, he was a fool and forgot to put the memory in a pensive before he ran head on to voldemort, like a common gryffindor. Now Harriet was going to pay the price. 

Ahter hours of torture snape could not holdout any longer and Tom say the rape memory from Harriets view then Tom watched harriet sobbing to snape about her pregnancy. That memory caused Tom to be caught off guard and Snape was able to push him from his mind.

“She’s pregnant with my child.'' Tom said dumbly. Snape hesitated and didn't answer. “IS SHE?”

“She doesn't know if the muggles raped her or if it was you…” Tom fell back into the chair. He needed to talk to Harriet immediately. 

“Does anyone have any suspicion of who the father is?” tom asked. If Harriet told anyone they would kill the baby. Tom was certain of that.

“Only the headmaster knows she is pregnant, he tried to get her to abort the baby for the war but Harriet wouldn't let him. He doesn't have a clue who the father is.” Severus told him. Tom inwardly smiled. This was good. Snape hesitated, “The girl is only sixteen, sir, and your…”

Tom grimaced, “Not that I need to defend my actions to you, but I did not realize that it was her at the time, and both of us thought it was a dream. And since that one night we have not made any attempt to do it again.”

Snape was still dissatisfied with the Dark Lord's explanation but he took his leave and headed back to hogwarts.

Harriet didn't sleep that night. She kept tossing and turning to no avail. Eventually she just took her invisibility cloak and went to visit Hagrid. On the way she saw slughorn trying to snip some of Professor Sprouts plants.

Harriet asked what he was doing. Which caused him to jump in surprise, he replied that the seeds were worth a lot of money. Harry nodded then kept making her way to Hagrids. Slughorn was befuddled for a moment then followed her, asking her why she was out of bed. Harriet shrugged replying she couldn't sleep.

When she got to Hagrids she felt pity when she saw Hagrid bury Aargon. Even though the spider had tried to eat her and Ron, this spider had been friends with Hagrid for almost 60 years. Hagrid was also heartbroken; the rest of the spider colony no longer welcomed him, saying they only tolerated him for the sake of Argon. 

They held a funeral service with the half giant. Hagrid let Slughorn get some of the argons venom before he finished his burial. Soon they moved inside the hut and began to tell stories of the old times. Hagrid passed out from alcohol rather quickly, but Harriet was pleased she was finally able to talk to slughorn.

Slughorn immediately started to tell stories about Lily, but it didn't bring Harriet as much joy as she thought it would. 

“Sir, I have been learning about Tom Riddle with Dumbledore these past few months and I was wondering if you could give me the memory of when you told Tom about horcruxes?” Harriet said rather bluntly, she desperately wanted to change topics off her mother.

“Of course dumbledore what put you up to this! I was a different man back then and Tom was rather charming.” Slughorn defended himself.

“Could you tell me about him, you were his head of house right?” Harriet asked. “I mean so far Dumbledore just showed me why he thought Tom was a psychopath at the orphanage and when he started killing people as an adult, but all I see was a lonely boy, who took revenge on people who did him wrong.”

“You have a big heart harriet. But don't forget that even though he was hurt by many, he will take revenge ten fold.” slughorn warned. 

But he sighed and told her some stories of the brilliant young man. They were just little nothings, but Harriet relished them. His thirst for knowledge, his charm and wit, he didn't have many friends but he was the most talented student to ever cross hogwarts.

“I think you and Tom would have been friends.” Slughorn suddenly said, “People don't notice it but you care for all things deemed broken or unworthy. The opposite of Tom but I'm sure you two would have been friends”

Harriet nodded and said she had better be getting back before she got into real trouble. Slughorn noticed the time and his eyes popped out. He muttered about how he was going to explain you being out of bed so late and she just gave him a grin before wrapping the invisibility cloak around her.

Back in the common room Hermione stayed up and launched herself on Harriet when she revealed herself. She thought something bad had happened to her since she had been so distant with her and Ron lately.

“I'm sorry I didn't realise, I guess with all these extra lessons with Dumbledore, detentions with Snape, and quidditch I haven't had time to breathe.” Harriet said, feeling guilty.

“It's our fault too, with prefect rounds and studying for owls I haven't been there for you.'' Hermione said getting a little teary eyed.

“You don't always need to be there for me.” Harriet said a little guilt, causing Ron to roll his eyes.

“If we aren’t there for you, you'll end up served on a silver platter to Voldemort.” Ron joked. “You attract more bad luck than anyone else in the world.”

Harriet gave a soft smile. Hermione hit Ron on the arm for being rude but Harry just laughed. The three of them sat on the couch in front of the fireplace and actually started talking like old times, before sleep took them dreamland and the three of them passed out on the sofa together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have the next few chapters written, i just need to edit them so they don't sound like blocks and change the story line a bit since reading back threw these chapters i may have gotten side tracked. 
> 
> i hope you have enjoyed my story even if has some tough topics discussed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the story gets a lot... darker? here. it might be triggering for those who struggle with pregnancy

The end of november was when harry started to show. Every day she started off by putting on a glamors, then her thickest clothes she owned. Hermione was the only one who commented on her weight, it only happened once, and it sent Harriet into tears. Ron and Hermione threatened anyone that even looked at harriet in a funny way. Harriet knew she should tell Hermione, she knew Hermione already had her suspicions but Harriet was still scared that hermione would leave her just like Tom did.

Since that night in the common room, Harriet started sleeping in Hermione's bed or sometimes the trio would fall asleep on each other in the common room. Harriet just didn't want to feel alone, she didn't want to go to their dreamscape and realised that Tom had truly abandoned her. She was also absolutely terrified that he would notice that she had gained weight, a lot of weight.

Even though she wanted to have control over her and Toms connection, Snape agreed to stop occumusly for both their sakes. He had started to take a parental role in Harry's life. He no longer assigned her detention but she would come anyway. They talked about lesson plans, the future, the baby. Talking about her parents was still a sore spot for her, she never told Snape she was worried that her mom turned out just like her dad. She didn't want to know if her mom also became a bully and that was the reason he became a death eater. He nevered pressed her on the issue about why she never really wanted to talk about her parents. 

Snape secretly looked forward to Harriet dropping by his office. He would make sure Dobby brought Harry's favorite tea and snacks, he of course would answer the door with a scowl on his face and ask her what she was doing here. He always tried to hide his smile when she would roll her eyes and eye the snacks excitedly. It was quite therapeutic for both of them to talk about their childhoods together, Harriets biggest fear was she was going to die and her child was going to be raised unloved just like her, Tom and severus. Snape told her that no matter what happened he would make sure the child was raised in a loving home.

Snape could never bring himself to tell her he told Voldemort about her pregnancy. He was ordered to deliver her to the malfoy manor over winter break, Snape still hadn't figured a way out but one thing was for sure, he would rather die than give Harriet over to the Dark Lord. 

Quidditch had become a nightmare for Harriet. She constantly stressed about the plays, her teammates, practice, and the baby. It all finally paid off when gryffindor made it to the final game of the season Gryffindor against Ravenclaw. Harriet never felt so relieved, she only had one game left and then she could put all that stress behind her. Snape worked tirelessly to protect the baby during matches, he had charms that protected her stomach and spells that would slightly redirect the bludger to other areas of her body. He wanted to make it so she didn't get hit at all, but Harriet wouldn't budge because it was cheating. 

Halfway through the game with gryffindor 50 points in the lead, a rogue bludger hit Harriet so hard she thought it shattered her leg, it was aimed at her stomach but it was thankfully redirected by snape. A few moments later a concerned cho flew up to her. "Harriet, your bleeding! Have you've gotten your period or something?"

Harriet looked down and panicked, that was a lot of blood. Her baby. She gave her signal to snape that something was wrong and left the pitch without a second glance. Ravenclaw won the game but that was the least of Harriets concerns. Snape was already in his office by the time flew in on her broom. He immediately casted several diagnostic spells. After a while and many spells later he gave Harriet a sorrowful look.

"No no no no no"Harriet repeated. She cried and touched her stomach. "He can't be" 

"Harriet, I'm sorry but there is nothing else that can be done. Your baby is gone." Snape told her. Harriet lost all control of her emotions and collapsed into a fit of sobs. She kept muttering she killed her baby and cried. "harry, sometimes things like this happen. It was not your fault." 

Snape picked up the crying girl and took her to his private quarters. He tucked her into Draco's bed, and gave her several potions to help her body deal with the loss. He knew there was nothing he could say to her now. She just needed time and support. He hoped he would be enough to get her through this. Most woman had their lovers, friends, and family, but Harriet made him swear he wouldn't tell or drop hints to her friends. He was the only that cared about her and knew she was pregnant. the thought slightly sickened him, he would make sure she never went through anything alone again.

Harriet could feel she was in the mindscape again. It felt like forever since she has been here. It took her breath away with how stunning the room was, it was a beautiful nursery befit a baby of Malfoys caliber. Was this her dreamscape? If so her mind was cruel, but she still looked around the nursery in awe. It was more perfect than anything she could ever dream of. She ran her hands over the beautiful wooden crib, it had a little mobile with a lion, snake, eagle and badger. The walls were painted with pastel colors of each of the hogwarts house with little snitches and brooms chasing each other across the walls. Harriet picked up a stuffed owl and sat in the rocking chair by the window. 

"I wondered when you were going to stop avoiding me." Tom spooked her from behind. "Do you like it? I finished it with Narcissa's help. it looks exactly like this in real life"

"I- I killed the baby. Snape just told me." Harriet wailed and started hyperventilating she clutched the stuffed owl to her chest asif her life depended on it.

"What?" Tom said dumb founded.

"He's dead. The babys dead. It's my fault she's dead." Harriet screamed. She was overcome with grief and started to rip off her quidditch uniform. Maybe if she did not stress about quidditch her baby would still be alive. There were so many things she did wrong! Was it from the potion fumes, or the spells she cast? Did she not eat enough or healthy enough? She cried harder the more she thought about the slightest thing she did wrong.

"You did what?" he seethed. Tom grabbed her by the throat, he looked into her eyes trying to find what happened. The memories were sporadic and hard to focus on. The first thing that he was able to focus was a memory of her walking in the hallway alone and wishing she was never pregnant, the next one was her flying on a broom and a bludger heading straight for her stomach, but he didnt feel her worry about the bludger. The memory got foggy but he looked down and saw blood had drenched her inner thighs, and then it flashed to snape telling her there's nothing that could be done. 

"The babys gone, Tom"she said, more calm, but it didn't stop the sobs racking through her body. Tom only saw red as he destroyed everything in the room. This girl killed his unborn child for a child's game, he was going to make her pay. He forced images of all the deaths she "caused" into her head, she was going to feel the pain he felt. He stopped the visions and told her she was going to have to live knowing she killed everyone around her. 

With that he broke the dreamscape, jolting Harriet awake.

Harriet stayed up crying the rest of the night, Snape brought her tea and tried to soothe her, but Harriet couldn't be consoled. Snape hesitantly gave her a dreamless sleep so her body had time to rest. Snape held her hand all night and wished he had protected her like he promised Lily he would. 

Snape told the headmaster that Harriet had lost the child. It peeved Snape that the headmaster seemed slightly delighted, but he agreed that Harriet would be allowed to miss her classes. To not rouse suspicion, they told everyone that Harriet had contracted a very strong strand of dragon pox from a letter sent by a death eater. There were already plans to implement stricter mail regulations and the heads of houses had to run diagnostics on every student, but they actually were able to stop a lot of cases of wizard flu by doing so.

Snape had refused to give Harriet a dreamless sleep again. He knew how addictive they were, he didn't want Harriet to become dependent on the substance like he had when he was her age. He tried to talk to her, convince her that it wasn't her fault, but she wouldn't listen; most of the time she was in denial. Sometimes she asks Snape what she should name the baby, other times she would be sitting in her bed quietly and then a heart reaching sob would break the silence.

Every night when she fell asleep, Tom would be waiting for her in the nursery, it hurt her more knowing he really wanted to be a father. She spent the whole time fearing he wouldn't want the baby, but the fact that he did and even created a beautiful nursery for her baby, it was unbearable. 

Slowly Harriet began to look forward to her punishment with Voldemort. It made her feel like someone was finally giving her what she deserved for all the pain and suffering she caused. Tom didn't cottle her or tell her it wasn't her fault. He was ruthless. Most nights ended with Harriet having a slight smile on her face and eyes empty, like her soul was gone. 

Tom would never admit it, but he hated seeing that expression on her face. He wanted more than anything to cuddle her and tell her it wasn't her fault, but she killed his heir, his only family. It didn't matter that she was his soulmate, he couldn't trust her.

After two weeks snape was about at the end of his patience. The girl refused to do anything. She didn't bathe, she didn't get out of bed, she absolutely refused to eat. He forced potions down her throat to keep her from starving herself, but it was like she was forcing herself to wilt from the inside. If he didnt do something soon she would end up a squib or worse dead.

Snape forced her out of bed and into the bathroom, he said he placed spells so she couldn't drown herself and then left. Harriet sat on the loo for a long time before she stripped off her clothes, she was gagged by the smell of herself, she guess scroogify only worked so well after a while. She sunk into the deep claw foot tub and for the first time in a while had a real smile, she remembered her and Tom's first time in the dreamscape. It felt like a lifetime ago, everything seemed so simpler back then. Which caused Harriet to laugh. It definitely wasn't simple then and it wasn't simple now. 

"You're early, I guess you could not wait for your next punishment." Tom taunted. 

Harriet swore, she must have fallen asleep in the bathtub. She tried to use magic to conjure clothes but her magic was shaky and practically nonexistent. Tom watched her struggle to use magic to cover herself. He could feel it through his own magic how weak she had become. 

He felt both his magic and soul reach out and help her, but he forced them back into his body, he wouldn't help the girl who destroyed his heart. A voice in the back of his head tried to reason with him saying to just look at her. that she has already suffered enough and she lost the baby as well. Tom squashed that voice like a bug, she wished for the baby to die. He saw it.

Before he could decide what to do to her, she disappeared. Harriet awoke in the freezing tub and decided she no longer likes baths, but at least she smelled nice. She went through the pockets of the clean robe snape had laid out for her. 

To her surprise she pulled out the marauders map, her change purse, and the bottle of liquid luck she won her first day in potions class. She wondered how snape got her clothes but assumed Hermione brought her stuff for her to use. She put on the fresh robes and left the bathroom. As she was about to slip into her room, she heard Dumbledore talking to Snape. 

"Tomorrow is the day everyone is leaving for holidays, has Harriet decided if she is going to stay?"he heard dumbledore ask. 

"I doubt the girl even knows it's December, all she has done is sleep and cry. I think it's best if she stays here. I don't want her doing anything rash when she is emotional, like last time." snape answered. Hearing this made Harry extremely angry, how dare he decide what was best for her!? 

She looked at the items in hand and smirked. It would be nice to go to the Weasleys again or visit Grimmauld or maybe she could serve herself to Voldemort on a silver platter.

She wouldn't have to deal with anything anymore, she could finally be free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *snape let her play quidditch even though it was extremely dangerous because he wanted to make up for him telling tom  
> *quidditch was not the cause, im explaining it a bit more next chapter, but quidditch was not the cause. harriet is not a bad mom


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is my best chapter yet, i hope you all enjoy

Harriet spent the rest of the day and most of the night planning. It was nice to have a distraction, everything felt so different now, even after everything that has ever happened to her this is what killed her spirit. She didn't have any fight left in her, Tom could do whatever he wanted to her and she no longer cared. Why did anything matter, it's not like by her living it would do anyone any favors. Sure her friends might miss her but they were so busy they didn't have time for her anymore. They would miss her for sure, but then they would soon forget about her like everyone else.

“If we meet in real life, would you really kill me?” she asked. Tom gave her a quizzical look, he honestly hadn't thought about it, even though he tried to hate her, his tiny heart wouldn't let him. He reminded himself of the prophecy, he had honestly forgotten all about the blasted thing. So many things were different now since last year, he hadn't even thought of killing her since the second dream he had with her, she was his soul mate, his only chance to live a life and not just survive in squander. 

“I will kill you like you killed my child.” he seethed, his heart ached at his words. It was becoming worse, at first it was a slight throbbing that could easily be ignored, but now he would rather have a crucio cast ten times over. He couldn't understand how this hurt more than an unforgivable, when he first tortured Harriet it would last all night, now he could barely last five minutes. 

While Tom seemed to be absorbing Harriets pain. Harriet became more distant and more like a shell. She would just sit in the rocking chair and stare out the window ignoring Tom while he was having his own sort of breakdown. The little owl was the only thing holding Harriets sanity. Owls were always her favorite animal, when Hagrid got her Hedwig it was honestly the happiest day of her life. She cared for Hedwig more than anything else in the world. She looked down at the owl and felt waves of sadness wash over her. She had been neglecting her first friend.

“Okay” Harriet smiled, she could finally be at peace and be with the thing she wanted most in the world, her family. It was obvious she wasn't meant to have a family in this lifetime, everytime she was close they would die and she had long ago accepted her death, it's not like she hadn't almost died every year since she was 11.

Tom was shocked by her reply. He didn't know why he expected her to argue with him, hearing her accept death like an old friend scared him more than his boggart. He messed up, he reached for Harriet but she disappeared before he could touch her. He clenched his fist, he would have Snape's head if he let her die. 

Harriet peaked out the window and saw the carriages were already pulling up to the courtyard. She woke up too late, hopefully she had enough time to set her plan in motion. She downed the liquid luck and joined snape for breakfast. She was able to sneak some sleeping draught into his tea and layed out the letters she had written for her friends. She really was going to miss them. The closet closest to the entrance gave her a lucky feeling with a quick alohomora she was able to open it and find her school trunk with her invisibility cloak!

She quickly put it on and left Snape's quarters. She almost bumped into Malfoy when she rushed out into the hallway, she was afraid she was going to miss the carriages but something told her to slow down and follow Malfoy closely. When they got to the carriages the slytherin group split up. Harriet was slightly confused when none of the other slytherins wanted to ride with Pansy and Draco, but she quickly found out why. The two spent the entire time snogging and touching each other, Harriet's face was as red as a tomato under her cloak, she tried looking away from them but they kept moaning and whispering stuff to each other.

It felt like an eternity till they got to the train station and the worst ride of her life paid off when she saw Lucius on the platform to pick Draco up, the spoiled brat didn't even have to ride the train to London. Sr. Malfoy grabbed ahold of Draco's arm without even a hello and Harriet grabbed dracos other just before they popped.

When they landed Harriet almost puked but thankfully didn't make a sound. She saw Draco shake his arm in confusion; he definitely felt her grab him but he could find the source. His father asked him what he was doing but draco shrugged it off and said nothing. Harry silently trailed behind and let the potion do its magic. 

Harriet opened the door to the room she had become so familiar with in her dreams. THe nursery Tom had built for her was just as beautiful if not more than imagined. Harriet saw the little stuffed owl she was so fond of and cradled it to her chest. Her rocking chair was in the same position she left it in her dreams, she wondered if Tom moved it to face the window or if he linked the room to their dreams.

She heard the door creak open and let a tired smile appear. “I was wondering if you were going to show up.” She looked behind her and saw Tom froze in shock. “You said you will kill me...so here I am”

His eyes turned dark and he pulled her out of the chair. “Tell me exactly how you killed my child and I will do the same to you.” He looked into her eyes but didn't see anything. She had always been so expressive and could never contain her thoughts. Now her mind was more clear than snapes, it was like she didn't have any thoughts at all, just a black canvas that painted her entire mind.

“Snape said it was a miscarriage. That he didn't know what caused it, but I do… I wished I was never pregnant.'' Harriet looked down in shame. Snape was eventually able to convince her that the baby died before the match. He said since she was bleeding and having contractions it meant her body had finally figured out that the baby had died. Sometimes it would take a day or two and other times it would take up to two weeks. Harry was still convinced she could have done better and that if she tried harder than she wouldn't have killed someone else. 

But none of that mattered now, she was going to feel the sweet release of death, no more pain, no more torture, just peace.

“A- A miscarriage?” Tom said softly. His heart lurched. He had been killing his soulmate over a miscarriage. “Harriet you had a miscarriage? I thought… I thought...the bludger...”

Harriets smile fell. A miscarriage was still her fault, why was Voldemort going soft on her? “Yes... I killed my baby?”

“Harriet my love, many witches have miscarriages, especially powerful ones. It's your body rejecting the foriegn magic. There was nothing you… there was nothing anyone could have done.” Tom said softly. Ever since Bellatrix told him about the type of books he could find dream magic in, he had learned a lot of pregnancy magic, it was potentially the most powerful magic of all, but if used too much it could make the baby a squib. 

Tom felt like someone ripped his heart out of his chest, this was how he was going to die, he never felt pain like this before. Grief consumed him, ”I thought you killed the baby by letting yourself get hit with a bludger.” he repeated, as if somehow the misunderstanding would make it all better. His hand clawed at his heart, he knew he deserved this but he couldn't accept it. He needed to make it right, he needed to repair his Harriets heart. She felt this pain and he made her go through it over and over again. He truly was a monster.

Harriet curled into herself. “It was still my fault. If I hadn't done quidditch or classes... maybe my baby would still be alive” she argued. Tom picked her up and cradled her. A violent spectrum of emotions wrecked his psyche, and for the first time he remembered he cried, he cried for every regret, he cried for his Harriet, he cried destroying his one chance at pure happiness, he never felt so helpless in his life.

Harriet felt his tears on her cheek and softly wiped them away. Harriet could feel the grief roll off of him in waves, her own heart reacted and they cried together, mourning the loss of their unborn child. Their connection used to be so strong they could feel each other entering the dreamscape, now their connection was nothing but a thread barely able to hold it together. Their magic immediately set to work, it tirelessly tried to heal their broken bond. Both of them experienced so much pain in their lives, true happiness might be just too far out of reach for the pair now. 

They fell asleep in the rocking chair, Harriet on Tom's lap with her head in the crook of his neck. They stayed like that in the dream world, no words were said. They just focused on their connection, they could see their magic slowly mend it, the golden threads weaved together replacing the frayed ugly black ones. Tom focused the rest of his magic on Harriet, her core was so weak he was surprised she was able to even get here. Any other witch wouldn’t have been able to stand, but he knew how determined his Harriet was. She was more powerful than he wanted to admit. She was his equal in every possible way and he wouldn't forget it. They still had a long way to go before there relationship was repaired, but this was a start

A soft knock on the door awoken the pair. Tom dragged Hariet with him saying she isn't leaving his sight until everyone knew not to harm a hair on her pretty little head. Harriet gasped in shock when she saw Draco at the door. Draco’s face matched Harriet’s in redness when he realised he had interrupted their private moment. Before Harriet could try and explain herself Draco stuttered dinner was ready and high tailed away.

Tom laughed humorously and guided Harriet across the hall to Tom's room. He told her he would get her proper clothes to change into and then they could make their way to dinner, but Harriet nervously shook her head.

“I'm not hungry, could i skip dinner today? I don't want to embarrass you in front of your followers. And I'm still awfully tired… it was an emotional day.” Harriet tried to think of every excuse not to go downstairs. She truthfully was still drained. She had felt a lot better after the nap with Tom, but physically seeing how weak her magic became scared her. 

Tom sighed and tucked her into bed and called for a house elf to bring her food. “Eat this biscuit and you can stay here tonight.” he commanded, she slowly finished the biscuit, she still wasn't fond of eating. Especially after her baby, she really only drank tea that snape slipped nutrient potions in. He looked at her sadly “I'm so sorry. Will you ever be able to forgive me?” 

“Tom, it was my fault. Of course I can forgive you,” she cried. Tom kissed her forehead and moved to hold her hand. He watched her eyes grow heavy until she couldn't hold them open anymore. He let out a long sigh, he would need the help of the Black sisters.

Tom called a house elf to watch her and to come get him the moment she woke up. The house elf nodded in fear and the dark lord went to catch the end of dinner. He hoped he would be able to catch everyone in his inner circle so that no mistakes were made with his Harriet.

The young Malfoy heir was smart enough to keep his mouth shut about who his Dark Lady was. Everyone knew that he had a secret lover, but none of them could figure out who. His inner circle originally thought it was Bellatrix, but when Tom asked Narcissa for help with nursery, they knew that it wasn't the barren witch. Which kept up the mystery of who could possibly have smitten their dark lord? If they find out it was Harriet before he was able to explain himself he was certain they would resist and swear that he was under imperius or a love potion.

The family just ended dinner as Tom appeared, Draco had already excused himself, but Tom figured he would have to threaten Draco on his own later. He knew that Draco and Harriet were school rivals and he didn't want any of that nonsense while she stayed in the manor. Tom would never admit it but he was also insanely jealous of the boy.

“Good evening, I assume you are all aware that my intended has come to stay in the manor over the holidays. I expect you all to be on your best behavior and to help her with everything she needs!” he started off. “As you have probably heard we were expecting a child… But as you all know powerful witches have a hard time carrying a child to full term and my lady has regrettably lost our child. Both Narcissa and Bellatrix will help her through this trying time. But mark my word if any of you dare to harm her in any way, what we have done to muggle borns and muggles alike will look like child's play. None of you have ever seen my full power and your family will suffer the consequences if any of you disobey me” Tom scanned the room to make sure his threat had landed. Once he was satisfied everyone received the threat he sat down and began his meal.

Naricissa had her down in shame, she had miscarried five times before she was able to have Draco. It was considered a pureblood curse, she hasn't met a single pureblood lady that was able to carry her first child. Narcissa peaked over to her sister, she saw Bella had her head down, but her sister had the Black look. She knew her sister was going to cause trouble, she was going to have to stop her before she ended dead from the Dark Lord's anger. Or even worse her family ended up dead because of her sister's school girl obsession.

“Be there for her.” Narcissa spoke up, her eyes widened in surprise at her own voice cutting through the silence. She called a house elf and had the elf grab a book. With a pop the elf handed the book to the dark lord. “This book helped me understand, and with Lucius by my side it made the pain...lessen.”

Lucius nodded in agreement with his wife, but Bellatrix just gave a sharp sarcastic laugh. “Well she seems awfully weak if she can't carry the most powerful babe inexistence”

Tom's eyes turned dark. “And you think you could do better Mrs. Lestrange, how many children did you give your husband? As a purebred you should know the importance of carrying on the line yet you have none… I think you should your tongue you barren whore, or I will be forced to hold it for you” Tom spat at her, everyone was slightly surprised the dark lord spoke to her like that. He always had a soft spot for bella, he let her get away with just about everything even if it defied him.

“You both experienced miscarriages. You both will help her. And Bellatrix you are on thin ice, I would hate to have to replace you but it can easily be done” Tom said after his anger calmed. They both nodded. Tom hoped Bella would straighten her attitude out, she had become a sort of friend to him, not that he needed friendship but it was still nice.

Tom sighed and told Lucius to bring him the new plans for the ministry. He was going to have to work on changing a lot of the laws he was previously trying to pass. His newest plan was to use Harriet as support for his ministrative changes, but that meant a lot of his laws were going to need changes and a lot of compromises were going to be made.

Draco didn't tell his parents about the golden girl being with the Dark Lord in a nursery. He was terrified of the man that stayed in his home, and Harriet was supposed to be the only one able to defeat the dark lord. She couldn't be cuddling up against him, it had to be someone else, a polyjuice potion or a really strong glamorous or anything other than the truth. He crept towards the Dark Lords room and opened the door. Harriet was sleeping soundly, he crept over to the bed and held her hand.

“I don't know if this is really you or an illusion, but i just wanted to thank you for teaching us slytherins defense. I know I was a prat to you but you're a better teacher than Snape, don't tell him that. And- and if you need any help… i'm not as brave as you... but i will do what i can.” Draco told the sleeping girl. She awoke from the strange voices and gasped trying to move away from him in surprise.

“Malfoy what are you doing here?” she yelled in surprise. She tried to rip her hand away but draco gripped it in shock.

“This is my house, Potter!” he yelled back in surprise, not expecting her to wake up. She blushed and remembered the hours earlier. He let go of her hand when she stopped struggling and blushed when he realised he had been holding it.

“Is Tom around, I mean is Lord Voldemort here?” As soon as she said that Tom appeared in the room.

“Mr. Malfoy. I do not remember giving you permission to be in here. In fact I thought my orders were to never enter my private quarters” Voldemort began to raise his wand. He was going to crucio the man that dared to touch his soulmate.

“He was just thanking me for teaching class. And you weren't a prat all the time, just most” Harriet blurted out, and gave Draco a soft smile. Tom glared at Draco and he tucked his wand back into his robe and Draco took the hint and rushed out of the room.

“I didn’t know you two had a relationship." Tom said harshly. He hated that she smiled at draco and defended him! He knew he was being childish but Draco was quite dashing and closer to her age than he was. He couldn't help but feel jealous.

"We don't, well... not really, he's an utter prick, but we aren't enemies anymore...'' Harriet weakly explained. Tom's frown deepened, he didn't want to share her while she stayed here. He finally gave a sigh.

"How are you feeling?Are you tired?" He changed the subject before he said something he would regret. He would approach the subject of Draco later.

"I feel fine now. All I've done these past few weeks was sleep and rest. I don't want to just sit around anymore." Harriet said shyly. She peeked up at him and he looked concerned but did not voice it. "Could we go for a walk, maybe?" 

Tom thought for a minute. He wasn't partial to cold weather since he had inhabitat so many snakes in his time. But when he looked back down at his Harriet, his heart throbbed slightly. He would do anything to make her smile. He hated how weak she made him. She was going to walk all over him, he would let this slide to make her smile, but her safety will be his number one priority. 

During their walk around the Malfoy grounds, Tom decided to tell Harriet his plan to become minister and the changes he planned to implement. He told her he already had half of the council in his pocket; it was a sure win on for minister on his part. Harriet was skeptical that they would vote Voldemort into office but he laughed.

“Do I look like the creature that I am described as?” Tom asked. It was true, he looked like a charming young man with wavy looks and a nice build, not a snake faced bald man that crawled out a cauldron after years of inhabiting various animals in the forest. Harry felt somewhat deflated, it was true, he just looked like an upcoming bright man who had big plans. 

“What about your name? There's people that still know Tom Riddle is Voldemort?” Harriet asked. She couldn't believe no one could see that he was the person they have been fearing. Was everyone that blind and ignorant?

“I'm under the guise of Marvolo T. Riddle. Bellatrix had me when out of wedlock with the Dark Lord when she was seventeen and the dark lord made her swear an unbreakable vow that she would never tell anyone about the child.” Tom lied smoothly. Harriet stopped walking, this was insane.

“So should I start calling you Marvelo then? I guess you're going to take over the ministry and kill all muggleborns?” Harriet didn't move, she forgot they were on opposite sides of the war. 

“I like you calling me Tom, actually. And now I have different plans now. You are the face of the light and I am the dark lord's son, together we will be an unstoppable force” Tom had determination that she had never seen before. He really believed he was going to change the world.

Tom could still sense the uneasiness of Harriet so he began to tell her everything that he wanted to change. The new plans were fair to muggle borns but it did practically force them to forgo their muggle traditions with wizarding ones. Harriet objected, but Tom explained this one was the hardest law he was going to have to pass. The purebloods hate muggle borns because of the way they ruin wizarding traditions. Like how Christmas was once called Yule and it was celebrated differently, now you can hardly find anything about yule unless you had “dark magic” books. A lot of traditions that witches and wizards celebrated from the beginning of their time was now considered dark magic and forbidden to practiced.Tom wanted to change that, of course some traditions should be left in the past but a lot of them brought magic and soul together.

The next biggest law Harriet was personally concerned about was for magical species like werewolves. Tom's plan was for them to live normal lives without being discriminated against, but if they had one slip, if they missed one wolfsbane potion, or they were not in a proper place at full moon. They would be imprisoned for life in azkaban or they could opt for the death penalty. 

Many more laws that were similar. They would lax the previous restrictions and harshen the punishment ten folds. She argued the punishment side but Tom held firm. He said people needed to fear the consequences so they wouldn't make them. Harriet reluctantly let it go, she knew Tom had a point, but she would need to do her own research to prove her side.

After their walk, they saw Snape in the manor. His usually stoic face held worry and concern. He spotted her out the window and it looked like someone cast a cruciatus curse on him. He didn't say a word to anyone and immediately apparated away. 

Harriet was torn, Snape was disgusted with her for cuddling up to the dark lord but he already knew that her and Tom had a relationship of sorts. She could feel Tom getting angry at Snape but she just shook her head and said it didn't matter.


	12. Chapter 12

After seeing Snape, Tom gently guided the distressed girl back to his room. Tom silently thought of ways he was going to torture Snape for hurting his Harriet. But Harry was able to tell he was planning something and told him that she didn't want anything to happen to Sev. Tom complied with her wish, but he would still get revenge somehow.

Her mind could not get rid of the image of Snape's face. She thought Severus cared for her, he was the only one, beside Tom, that understood what she's been through. she refused to believe that Snape abandoned her but her mind just kept telling her that she gave him no other option . She thought he would understand, but Severus was right, she betrayed her mother by being with Tom. 

The worst part was she didnt want to leave Tom. Even if he was murder, she has already fallen to deep. He was a flame and she was a moth.

Tom gently pushed Harriet down to sit between his legs, as a mother would a child and softly brushed her hair. His long fingers expertly twisten her hair into a braid and he softly chanted protective charms that he had learned in the parenting books. It was small things that were good for unruly children, like letting a parent know if the child left the wards, if they were hurt, and it allowed the child to call the parent for help. He modified them slightly but the premise was the same. He wanted to make sure she was safe.

After he finished braiding protective charms in her hair he gave her privacy to get ready for bed. It was odd for him to be sharing a room with someone again. He enjoyed privacy and isolation. The only reason he stayed at the Malfoy Manor was to be a constant presence in their lives so that his orders would be carried out swiftly and efficiently. If he didnt keep a tight leash on them, then it would give a chance for rebellion and he couldn't afford that, not when he was so close.

Once Harriet was done in the bathroom, she quickly climbed into bed trying her best to not look at him. She didn't know why she felt so vulnerable around him now; maybe it was because she had spent most of the day running on liquid luck, adrenialian, and emotional turmoil.

Tom watched her from above the pages of his book, he couldn't keep the smirk off his lips when he saw her trying to hide her red face under the blankets. He liked the effect he had on her, she was still innocent in many ways and he couldn't help but wonder how far the blush went down. He set the book down and took his turn in the bathroom, if he watched her anymore, he was going to do something that would ruin the fragile relationship they had.

Tom got a devious idea in his head, he wanted Harriet to want him. So he exited the bathroom and stood just insight of Harriets peripherals. He loosened his tie and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He saw Harriet blush as she pretended not to watch him. He tost her a knowing smile as he slowly undid his trousers, he usually slept naked but he didn't want to give Harriet a reason to find another room, so he left on his underwear and crawled into bed beside the beat red girl.

Harriet nervously scooted away from the nearly naked man, she didn't want to get caught up in whatever Tom was thinking. She hadn't thought of the implications of sleeping in the same bed until he started to strip in front of her. They spent the past three months talking to each other every day, and she still felt like she barely knew him. He never once mentioned his plan to become minister or that he had a change of heart towards muggleborns. She hated that her heart trusted him with her life, while her mind screamed at her to run away as fast as she could.

Tom immediately noticed Harriet trying to squirm away and swiftly pulled her against his side. “I never want to let you go again.” he whispered into her hair. It shocked him how true that statement was, he knew she was going to make him weak, but he didn't mind the extra work it was going to take. 

Harreit was shocked at how cold he was, and shivered against him. She turned around so her face was in his chest. The Dark Lord could feel her nervousness radiating off her skin, without thinking he bent his neck and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. He immediately felt her relax against him, she was so trusting when he gave her affection.

“Are you with me to become minister?” Harriet asked shyly. She felt Tom tighten slightly. He hadn't expected her to ask so soon. 

“I'll admit that being with you has added benefits...but no, Harriet, our connection runs deeper than just political gain. You have seen our bond” Tom answered. He rolled his eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, but Harriet could tell he was hiding something else. 

“It's just you have so much power in the dreamscape. I can only control the ones where i fall asleep first, but you always seem to know when i fall asleep. It's kinda scary really.” Harriet pressed. He could have manipulated her the entire time, she was so naive.

“With our connection I am able to feel when you fall asleep yes.” 

“But why cant I?” Harriet moved away from him to look him in the eyes. She knew he could read her mind like that, but she just had so many questions and so many fears.

“Harriet you are a powerful witch, but you still have a lot to learn. And if what the Malfoy child said was correct; that you are the best teacher he's ever had, I would say your education is severely lacking. If you wish I could train you myself and you can become just as powerful as me” Tom didn't want her to go back to Hogwarts, it was dangerous and he couldn't protect her while she was there. But he knew how similar they were, Hogwarts was her home, just like it was his.

“I want to finish Hogwarts, it's where my friends are..” Harriet sighed she didn't want to talk about this anymore. She missed her friends, she was scared she lost them forever. If she was given the ultimatum she didn't know who she would choose “Let's talk about this later, I need to think.”

While Harriet contemplated what she might decide, she put her hand over his heart and could feel it fluttering against her palm. she didn't know why she was so surprised, he really did have a heart. It felt small and was beating a lot faster than her heart was, but it was there.

“Did you really want the baby?” Harriet finally asked, her voice cracking at the end. Tears began to stream from her eyes. She never asked him about it, she honestly didn't even know how he found it but he must have felt it threw the connection.

“I did, I never thought I was going to be a father. It is said that if you dwell in the dark arts too long then you become barren, back then i didn't care, children are dirty disgusting little creatures. But when i found out that you were carrying my child. Everything changed.” His voice was strong yet he spoke barely above a whisper. “I don't blame you Harriet, I still want to court you and create a future with you. Nothing is going to change that.”

Harriet had so many more questions, but when she went to ask the tired man something else he silenced her with a kiss. There was no need to dredge up everything in one night, he was exhausted.

Harry tried to move away from the kiss at first but Tom held firm. He moved his hand to the back of her head and Harriet hesitantly returned the kiss. She felt him smile against her lips and then he retracted. He rolled onto his back but kept Harriet at his side.

“I'll see you in my dreams.” he whispered. Harriet stared at the ceiling, still stunned by the kiss.This kiss felt hundreds times better than her first kiss with Cho. She began to wonder how many people he had kissed, he hadn't kissed her the night they first shared. She could feel her face heat up in embarrassment. She got pregnant by a man she never even kissed.

Tom fell asleep rather quickly,while sleep evaded Harriet, she had taken two naps that day and woke up late. Even with the naps she still felt worn out, to be fair she had not done anything while she was depressed and then today was filled with anxiety, emotional distress, and sneaking. 

She sat up slightly to look at Tom,he looked so peaceful, he didn't have his harsh lines and stern face that he constantly wore during the day. She wanted to reach out and move the lock of hair that fell on his forehead but she refrained. Harriet didn't want to wake him. She slowly shifted away from him until she was out of bed. 

Harriet recognized many of the books along the walls from her dreams, and wondered what Tom would teach her next. It would be nice to know what charms he enchanted her braid with or even how to braid hair. He held so many secrets, Harry wondered if Tom would ever confide in her or if he was always going to be cryptic.

She couldn't decide on what book to choose so she krept towards the door and snuck out. She wanted to go to the nursery again. She didnt want to live in what ifs but she didnt want to forget either.

She picked up the stuffed owl and held it close to her chest. She missed Hedwig,and her friends, she wished she told them everything instead of keeping it a secret. Hermione would have understood, but Ron probably wouldn't. She thought about Ginny, the younger girl was once in love with Tom, but he manipulated her to open the chamber of secrets and tried to sap her soul. Would Ginny ever forgive her? Harriet honestly forgot all about her second year. Tom had done so many bad things to so many people she loved. Could she ask them to forgive him?

Her thoughts were interrupted when she saw Bellatrix in the doorway. 

“Is that how you decided to save your own life?'' Bellatrix asked. Harry jumped slightly and looked at her in confusion. “To trap the dark lord with a baby, so that he wouldn't kill you?” Bellatrix further explained, trying to hide her evil smile, but Harriet saw it. 

Bellatrix was trying to get a rise out of her, and make Tom mad at her. It would never work, Harriet thought, but a small voice in the back of her head said differently. 

“No, I never told him I was pregnant. I don't know how he found it…'' Harriet said, trying her best to be civil with the mad witch. Tom was sleeping in the next room over and she was sure he wouldn't be happy if he saw her fighting with his most loyal follower. And what if he was disappointed that she couldn't handle herself against the witch?

“That's because your little Daddy Snapey did that for you, he also delivered his promise on bringing you here so his master could have his way with you” Bellatrix laughed, Harriets face fell. Snape wouldn't do that to her, he was her pseudo-father. He wouldn't betray her like that, not after everything they went through together.

“You're lying,” Harriet shouted, not able to hold in her temper. Bella laughed and got uncomfortable close to Harriet.

“Oh really? Who else knew that you are the Dark Lord's little whore? Only four people knew that you begged for him to cum inside you, so you could carry his little bastard baby! And let's name those people, shall we? There was you, you said yourself that you didn't tell him! The dark lord, obviously ruled out. There is your precious Dumbls, and do you think that the headmaster has tea with the Dark Lord to gossip about his slut students? Oh! And then there is your little daddy, the Dark Lord's little halfblood pet and Dumbls little servant?” Bellatrix's malicious grin seemed bigger than her face. Harriet lost it; she screamed in hatred and unleashed her magic. 

Hqarriet came to a few seconds after and saw Bellatrix was knocked out against the wall, she had long deep bloody laterions up and down her entire body, blood leaked on the white carpet, Harry thought she killed her but she saw a slight rise in her chest, Harry didn't know if she was relieved or angry.

She looked around the rest of the room, everything was destroyed. The only thing that was not cut to pieces was the little owl she had been clutching. Harriet didn't hesitate to run, she knew she messed up. It was going to be like the Dursleys all over again. Down the hall she saw a fireplace and took a big hand of flu powder.

“Grimmauld place.” she yelled. She fell into the dirty fireplace at Sirius' childhood home. She quickly called for Kreacher. Who appeared mumbling and looking just as miserable as the last time she saw him.

“Kreacher, seal the flu network and put up the strongest wards around the home. Don't let Bellatrix or malfoy or any other death eaters in here. Do you understand?” she was yelling by the end of it, she was so mad and scared. What was Tom going to do to her? She should have stayed to defend herself, but she ran away looking guilty! She messed up

“Yes, mistress, krecher understands.” with a snap of his fingers, Harriet immediately felt safer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys enjoy.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for this chapter i edited it and changed it so many times but i still don't like it. I'm honestly tired of changing it so i'm just going to post it so i can quit stressing about it. 
> 
> i know last chapter i said i wasn't going to be able to update till wednesday but i got my aircraft radio licence today and i was super excited so i couldn't sleep so i made my final changes to this chapter.

The house was dusty from decades of neglect, even when Sirius stayed he never had it spotless. Harriet wondered if dust was a permanent resident in the ancient house. Her Aunt Petunia would never allow her house to have a speck of dust, she white gloved everyday to ensure Harriet did a perfect job. 

Now Harriet was extremely paranoid about how sterile everything needed to be. Cleaning at least kept her mind busy, when she was young she used to pretend she was Cinderella, too bad Prince Charming ended up being the reason she was with her evil family in the first place.

Harriet started off by cleaning the kitchen, she wanted a clear head. She thought about how needy she has always been for any sort of affection. She used to believe Aunt Petunia would love her if she could clean perfectly, “how am i still that naive?!”

When the kitchen finally began to sparkle in the dim light, Harriet took a step back and contemplated if she was too gullible around Tom.

Overall Harry decided she needed to forget about the evil wizard even if he was her soulmate. Her insecurities convinced her that Tom would never accept her. She was a screw up, weak, pathetic, and a danger to everyone who dared get too close to her. 

Hell even if Bellatrix deserved to die, Harry didn't want her death on her hands too. Harry was a little proud of herself for thinking that way.

She sent Kreacher to clean the rest of the ground floor while she finished up the dishes. The house elf grumbled and limped to the other rooms. He finished quickly using magic, it was not as good as her cleaning but it was better than nothing. 

Harriet wanted to go through and redo what the old house elf did, but didn't feel like cleaning anymore. She didn't want to fall asleep either. Tom would be waiting for her, he would be so disappointed in her. He had said he wanted her to be his equal, she wasn't equal to him in any way, not control, not power. She didn't even know the first thing about being a witch, when Tom found out he was a wizard he made a name for himself. What had she accomplished? Literally just not dying, it was pathetic.

Harriet thought back to Tom teaching her about some wizarding customs, and declared wizard traditions were a lost art.

Harriet didn't have any traditions of her own, she wasn't allowed to celebrate muggle ones with her relatives and at Hogwarts she was usually too busy trying to figure out the next big mystery to pay attention to what everyone else was doing. 

Kreacher came back to the kitchen and stood in the farthest corner away from her. He continued to mutter under his breath about how his mistress would never allow such behavior and how she was a disgrace. 

“Well how am i supposed to act then?” Harriet snapped. Rather than sneering at her like she thought he was going to.The old house elf immediately became helpful and excited, he started to tell her about the history of the oldest and most ancient house black.

He told her that there were specific ways to walk, talk, dress, wear their hair, and even jewelry. The slightest thing spoke a thousand words. He would disappear and reappear with hand written books of traditions that had been past down for generations. Harriet was amazed how detailed the books were and the sheer volume of information.

“Is there a mourning ritual, specific to house Black?” Harriet asked. She wished she knew of Potter House traditions, but if these traditions were considered dark, they were probably destroyed long ago. It made her sad to think of, traditions would have been a nice way to connect with her parents and feel closer to them. She wondered if her mother had wanted to embrace wizarding traditions or if her father took on muggle ones.

“Yes, mistress!” kreacher happily replied. He continued on what to wear, when to appear in public, what to eat, how to guide the spirit to the other side, it outlined every little detail. He picked out a few books and handed them to her, one large book was solely how to present the body. Harry’s heart clenched, there hadn't been a body for Sirius or the baby. 

“Kreacher, can you lay out all the female funeral or wake dresses that are in the house and lay out all the necklaces too, please.” she asked, when she started to scan the mourning ceremony. She was happy that Tom had braided her hair, since the books explicitly said that her hair could not be loose. Kreacher oddly gave her a slight glare but made all the clothing appear floating above the table slowly circling and all of the necklaces on the table.

Harriet looked at the dresses, all the dresses were definitely not from this century, not even in wizard standards. She finally found one that was decent. It had a softshell corset, with see thru mesh long sleeves. The cut itself was rather low cut, but it didnt show her cleavage which she was thankful for.

Harry hoped following these eccentric traditions would help her. She wondered if this was considered the wizard version of religion. Did they believed in a higher power like muggles did? Harry was never allowed to go to church since her uncle thought she was a devils child. They were considered good people because they went to church, even though they kept her locked in a cupboard and beat her, so she didn't want any part in religion. Instead she turned to booze and became a summer alcoholic.  
.   
She went to change then went and examined the necklaces Kreacher had laid out for her. Harry was instantly lured to an old gold locket. Kreacher growled when she picked it up to examine it closely, in the center it had an emerald snake in the shape of an S.

“Where did you get this from?” Harriet hissed. She knew what it was. It had the same feeling as the diary, it felt like Tom.

“It's not a mistress to takes!” Kreacher shrieked. He tried to grab it from her but Harriet yanked the locket above her head. Through the commotion the locket fell open and it was like a sonic boom went off, the force from the magic knocked slammed Kreacher into the wall and Harriet into the cabinets.

Harriet looked around dazed trying to steady herself in the spinning room. 

She was finally able to focus on the figure standing in the middle of the room. 

“Tom! How did you get in here? kreacher wards should have been impenetrable?” Harriet asked, perplexed. She felt something off but seeing him always made her feel slightly better for some reason. Tom just stared at his hands and then glared at her.

“You dare use my muggle name?” he growled at her. Harriet struggled to her feet and leaned against the counter, trying to ease her pain.

“What- what do you mean? You've never had a problem with me calling you Tom before?” Harriet questioned. Tom lunged and grabbed her by the throat. He examined her face intently as if looking for something.

“Your not my Tom” she choked out. The look in his eye reminded her of when she first had to duel Voldemort. It held no sympathy or remorse, it was like he didn't have a soul. 

“I suppose you will make a decent slave.” he threw her on to the ground. Harreit stumbled but was able to stay on her feet, she bolted for her warded room. Harriet made it up only a couple stairs before she felt Tom's hand slipped around her ankle. She kicked her foot releasing his grip, but he caught the bottom of her dress and it made her fall and hit her head on the stairs. She clung to the banister and he yanked her skirt, the old dress stood no chance against the strength of the horcrux and ripped half way around the bodice. 

She tried kicking him but he caught her foot and was able to drag her down the stairs, she clawed at him, fighting with all her will but he held her arms down with one hand and used the other to rip the top portion of her bodice and roughly mauled her

“Help! Someone help me” Harriet screamed repeatedly. “Tom! Tom! Voldemort, help me! TOM!”

The horcrux slapped Harry across the face, leaving a dark handprint on her cheek. A load crack broke through her screams and the evil Tom was thrown off her and into the wall. She looked to see two toms fighting in the small hallway. 

Harriet squeezed her eyes shut not wanting to know what happened or who would win out. What if they joined forces? Harriet hugged herself tight. She hated how she was never safe, not even to the closest thing she had to a home. 

Tom easily got rid of the Horcrux body and noticed Harriet curled in the fetal position. She looked so fragile, he knew this was detrimental to her. The horcrux had looked exactly like him but had all his pent up rage and aggression. How was she ever going to recover, if she was constantly thrown obstacles. She doesnt give up easy, but this has just been four mind healer things in four months. Not counting all the psychological trauma she has delt with her whole life.

“Tom i- i don't know… i-'' Harriet broke into sobs. “Why does all this bad stuff happen to me?!” 

Tom looked at the broken girl on the floor, she shakily sat up and looked down at the ruined dress she had been wearing. It was torn at the bodice exposing her chest and the skirt was ripped in half, leaving her panties completely exposed.

She glanced up at him and tried to hold the dress in place to cover herself. Tom gently covered her shaking hand with his and looked into her eyes, not letting them wander around her exposed body. He brought up his hands and softly touch her red cheek. She hesitantly met his gaze and her body began to tremor, this was the second time he had saved her from rape. But this time he wasn't going to collect. 

Tom took off his outer robe and wrapped it around her then cradled her to his chest and tried to soothe the fears away. He didn't know what to tell her. He couldn't help but feel like everything had been his fault. 

She asked him to take her to her room upstaris. Tom wanted to argue that it would be better if they went back to the Malfoys but she looked so scared, he decided this place should have strong wards. The blacks were purebloods afterall.

He looked around the room, it had pictures of Harriet with another female and a male. There were also pictures of her parents. Around the room was scarcely decorated but it was all things harriet. 

He set her on the bed and she clenched the rope tightly around her. He went through the wardrobe and found some muggle style pajamas. He gave them to her and she softly thanked him. He turned around to give her privacy, he picked up a photo where Harriet looked happier than he had seen in a long time.

she plucked the photo from his hand. “They were the first family I ever had, they were the first ones to protect me.”

“You have me to protect you now.” He said it with such confidence that Harriet almost believed him, but there were more Horcruxes out there and many of followers were similar to Bellatrix, they wanted to hurt her.

When Tom cast legitimus on Bellatrix he almost killed her on the spot. He couldn't believe the amount of disrespect she gave towards his soulmate. She would pay, he would let Harriet handle how she wanted to deal with bellatrix. He wouldnt take that revenge away from her.

“I want my friends. You can't keep me from them.” Harriet stood defensively and used all her energy to push him away.

“Your friends can't protect you like I can. They will use you against me.” Tom was angry now, couldn't she see he was just protecting them. He didn't want to fight but he wanted her to understand, she couldn't leave him again or else she would hurt both of them.

“Get out '' Harriet whispered nervously. Tom froze. “Get of my room now Tom”

Tom felt blood drip in his palm before he felt his nails dig into his skin. He wanted to scream at her to make her understand, but the words wouldn't leave his mouth. He reached out for her but she flinched away hard. She wanted him to leave, and he couldn't understand. He didn't hear her call for Kreacher, but suddenly he was in a different room, one without Harriet. 

He immediately rushed to the room he put her in earlier but he couldn't open the door. Tom was in distress. Was she leaving him? He couldn't let that happen? He sat outside the door for a long time, until he felt Harriet fall asleep. 

He wanted a few minutes before he chased after her in the dreams, she had mentioned before she can only control the dreams she went into first, but it takes her a lot longer to reach rem sleep then him.

When Tom appeared in the dreamscape he was shocked by how many people were there. It was a sea of red heads sitting at a very large table. He recognized the two in the photo and the girl he had tried to kill with the diary. Everyone was laughing and passing food around, they didn't notice him and Tom didn't know if they were going to.

Before he could finish the thought the oldest female smiled happily at him, “you must be Harry’s friend! We have heard so much about you? Come sit down, there is a seat next to Harry, you are much too skinny!”

He was ushered to a wobbly mismatch chair next to Harriet, she looked at him quizzically, and he was bombarded by questions throughout the table.

He raised his hand to stop the chatter and just like that everything froze beside Harriet.

“I'm not here to play games Harriet, your not leaving me because of Ms. Lestrasnge.” He grabbed her arm and pulled her up from the table.

“Let go! Can't you see this is what i want! I don't want to come second to your servants! I don't want to have to worry if you're just using me! I just want a family!” harriet yelled. SHe was breathing hard and refused to look him in the eye. Tom slumped down in the chair and moved his grip from her arm to slide down to her hand.

“You will always come first.” He looked up in her eyes. “I want us to have a family, but i don't want to lose you to this childish notion that you will become their family.”

“Childish notion huh? Like a teenager thinking that someone that's old enough to be her grandfather actually loves her? Or that a man that split his soul into tatters cares about his SOUL mate, when he obviously doesn't care about his own soul? Or that-” Her voice was dangerously low and even.

“Enough!” He sighed exasperated. “What do you want me to do, Harriet? I can't change what i have done. I thought we were past this! What more can I do to prove to you I change?”

“Come with me to the Weasleys…” Harriet said immediately. She hid her shock at her own words. “Just come with me to meet them.”

Tom wanted to argue, to fight with her. But this was her greatest desire, he could use the story he has been using when he became minister.

“Well, how did we meet then? if we are going to do this we are going to do it perfectly.” He was equally surprised by how quickly he agreed but he needed Harriet like he needed air.

“Well it would probably be best if we did half truths, like you saved me from muggles over the summer. And we were corresponding by owl or something.”

Tom nodded and then looked around the frozen people, “Well you might as well tell me about all them.” Harriet beamed and started pointing and telling stories about everyone. He loved seeing the happiness wash over her.

They were the same in a lot of ways but one way the differed was Harriet craved human connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is a lot better and i personally enjoy it a lot more, so i'm going to keep tinkering with it. im shooting to upload it Wednesday!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took me so long i been having hypersomnia on my weekends from working night shift panamas and I'm sorry if the story isn't as good as you guys hoped, i hope you take it as is and not be to harsh 
> 
> anyway hope you all enjoy. only 3 chapters left!

Harriet and Tom spent the last several days developing a routine. Waking up slightly before the sun, he would make them tea while she made breakfast. While they ate he would present a book, containing notes and his expectations, much like a professor. Then he would get ready to campaign or other secret activities that Harriet was too scared to ask about. Afraid that if she interrogated him, then her illusion of him would be broken and she would go back into a vicious cycle of hating herself.

Tom would always just kiss her forehead, leaving Harriet with the crotchety old house elf in the big empty manor. Harriet hated how dusty the house was and would spend the first couple hours of the morning by cleaning a new room and maintaining the used ones. When she got bored of cleaning, she would dance, she realized she hadn't danced in awhile and found that her stress melted away when she did. 

when she was tired from dancing down the hallways, she would make lunch for herself then pore over her assignment for the rest of the afternoon. Tom would come home and was always proud that she mastered every spell. Most of their conversations revolved around theories and spell practicalities while he made them dinner, often cooking something exotic that he had learned on his travels during his quest for immortality.

Harry rather liked having him there with her, it made the house seem like a home. Even if on the rare occasion she would wallow in self pity and loath his existence. Thankfully those bouts were becoming very few and far between

Harriet was pretty sure Tom moved in with her. She never asked him to and he never asked her. But he slept, bathed, ate, and spent his free time at her residence. Not that she minded.

The major problem Harriet had with their living situation was Harry didn't like the fact she basically became a housewife, she brought up her concerns to Tom who laughed and said she is anything but just a housewife. He reassured her if a job would make her happy then she would have a job within reason. 

He kept to himself that he still didn't like her hero complex, so he subtly manipulated her against jobs like an auror or curse breaker. Pushing her towards a defence teacher which she was already partial too.

Today was the day Harry had been waiting for. The Wealeys had invited her (and said she could bring her special someone) to celebrate with them. The plan was to head over to the Wealeys around lunchtime and stay for dinner, so as soon as Harriet woke up she stared at the clock willing it to go faster.

Tom mosied on down the stairs from the study he created. He noticed Harriet sitting at the table staring at the clock and sighed. He then got a bright idea, he silently spelled all the decorations that Harriet had put up into the largest empty room in the house. 

Harriet bregudrignly followed Tom, he had been unusually cheerful after he was done with his work. He was usually stern and well collected, she had never seen him anything but. Now he had a ghost smile on his face and an almost giddy step in his walk. He was becoming more like her than he realized. Harriet wondered if it was because their souls were now so intertwined, to the point where in their dream they couldn't distinguish between whose was whose. They eventually get to a door in the house Harriet realized she never noticed, her curiosity peaked. 

“Close your eyes,”Tom commanded. Harriet rolled them at him first but then squeezed her emerald eyes shut shut.

Cinnamon and pine filled overwhelmed her nose when she was led into the room. she opened her eyes and she was nearly blinded by the beauty. Mistletoe draped from the ceiling like vines in the forest. Snowflakes were blindingly bright, they cast an elegant prism effect through the ballroom as candles floated dimly and moved with the music that softly played. Harriet was in absolute shock, she couldn't believe Tom had done this for her.

“You are nervous for today.” Tom commented as he offered her his hand in a bow. Much like he did their first shared dream. Harriet curtseyed back and gently set her hand on his.

“They mean so much to me.they are my family” Harriet answered honestly. She didn't look at his face scared to see his reaction. He was possessive and jealous, Harriet knew this. The unspoken fear that he was going to isolate her from them hung in the air between them as they swayed to the gentle music.

“If I want you, I'm going to have to share you.” Tom forced out. Of course he could lock her away but a bird in a cage doesn't sing.

Harriet locked eyes with him and she understood. This was pain to him, but he was willing to suffer if she was happy. At that moment Harriet wasn't sure if she deserved him. 

She had completely separated Tom from Voldemort. Everything from this summer back to her was Voldemort and everything forward was Tom. She tried her best not to torment herself over it. She needed to finally relax and stop fighting fate.

They danced together for a little over an hour, Harriet wished that Tom had been her date to the Yule ball a couple years, then maybe now she would be able to dance with confidence that she had now. He laughed at her when she confided in him about that. He then reluctantly told her an embarrassing story of his first dance. The time flew by and Harriet decided it was a good time to leave for the Wealeys. It was still an hour or two early but Tom couldn't bring himself to say no to her.

They apparate and Tom was slightly surprised by the house that stood in front of them. It looked like it was built at night by a child, it was tall with mismatched wood on every different level, it seemed to lean to one side, then the other, it was not a place that should be lived in. He turned to ask Harriet if they were at the right place but she had already bounded to the door.

Before Harriet even knocked a large woman with burnt orange hair whipped open the door and engulfed her in a hug. Tom blinked and then a swarm of redheads all crowded onto her, they were all loud and yelling at her for not coming sooner. 

Tom stood back not yet being noticed, he wanted more than anything to pull his Harriet from their grasps but Harriet was just as excited and loud as they were. If it wasn't for her midnight black hair, he would have mistaken her for one of them.

After they all clambered down, it was Ginny that first noticed him and just as quickly as his eyes met hers, her wand was pulled and a hex was sent hurling his way. Tom immediately reacted with his wand but was able to stop the spell on his lips when Harriet jumped between them.

“Wait this is my.... Tom, this is Tom.” Harriet siad with her hands raised. She cautiously looked at both of them before her gaze finally rested on Ginny. Ginny's tortured face held betrayal in her eyes and she whipped her head around and ran into the house.

Harriet had forgotten to let Ginny know that Tom was the same Tom that had tried to steal her soul her first year. The rest of Weasley apologized for Ginny's behavior, saying she was probably just surprised or even a little jealous of him.

Tom nodded and immediately put on his charismatic facade. He told there was no need to worry and he would apologize later for startling her. Ron and Hermione pulled Harriet inside while Percy made his move to chat up the future minister of magic.

“Tom? Like Tom Riddle Tom?” Hermione immediately connected the dots and chastised Harriet.

“Well-” Harriet began.

“Tom Riddle? Who's that?” Ron quizzed obtusely, usually Harriet was the one that missed the obvious. Hermione shot him a look that immediately made Ron turn red in embarrassment. They both stared at him for a moment, not believing that he actually forgot that Voldemort's real name was Tom. “Wait Ginny! The diary! The dark lord! Harriet how could you?”

“It's not like that, he's not Voldemort.” Harriet pleaded with them to let her explain. They gave each other a look then finally relented hearing their best friend out. “He wont kill anyone. I will make an unbreakable vow if I need to.”

“She could be under the effects of love potion or imperio.” Hermione said to Ron as if Harry wasn't sitting right in front of her.

“How could he have gotten to her at Hogwarts though? The effects would have worn off.” Ron tried to reason. They both shot Harry a glance, studying her face.

“Guys, I'm not under a spell. I'm not obsessed with him or anything and if he starts trying to kill muggleborns again, I'll leave him… i promised” Harriet then sighed and decided she should tell the full story.

“We met over the summer, you guys know how the Dursleys are and since Sirius is… so my birthday night I was drinking in a park” Hermione opened her mouth to chastise her again. “I know, I know. Anyways I got really drunk and I tried to make my way back to the Dursleys when these men saw me. They...they dragged me back to the park...and they..started to rip off my clothes and..”

Harriets eyes betrayed her with tears, she was mad at herself for crying over something that didn't even happen. Hermione moved closer and took her in her arms. Harriet shook her head, shaking away her tears and then continued. “An….and I was too drunk to use magic, so I just wished that voldemort would just come and kill me. then he appeared. He saved me. I still wasn't in the right mind set, and I thought I was dreaming...well having a nightmare... there was no way a hot voldemort would save me.”

Harriet took a deep breath and nervously glanced at her best friends. “So I slept with him, thinking it was a dream. But it wasn't and I got pregnant.”

“WHAT!? YOU'RE PREG-” Ron yelled but Hermione covered his mouth so the last part was muffled. All three of them froze waiting to see if someone heard them but no one came to bother them so they let a breath of ease. “You're carrying the dark lord's baby!?” Ron interrogated his face redder than his hair.

“I- I lost the baby Ron” Harriet whispered heartbroken and kept her eyes trained to the floor.

“Well good riddance, I can't believe you got-” Ron continued, Hermione thankfully hit him upside the head to get him to stop talking.

“I'm so sorry Harriet, is there anything we can do?” Hermione gently said bringing Harriet into the hug as tears leaked from her eyes. Ron sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck realizing the blunder he made.

“I'm sorry Harry,” Ron took her other hand. “I wish you would have told us. We're supposed to be best mates!”

“I'm sorry, I was just so scared and I thought you guys would abonend me for… you know, for loving you-know-who” Harriet balled. They both brought her into a hug and assured her they would never abandon her even if she was in love with voldemort. If she said he was changed then they would give him a chance.

“Bloody hell! I never thought that the dark lord would be having christmas dinner at my house” Ron joked, trying to break the tension. “I still don't trust him, and I think he's playing you, and i don't know what you see in him, but i won't try to kill him.” Ron told her honestly as they left the room. With this new information, Ron and Hermione wanted to keep a very close eye on him.

Surprisingly they found Tom talking to the twins. Both the twins were hanging on every word which was a mighty concern for Ron. 

“That's one way they make animalistic fireworks in china” she heard Tom explain to the twins. She wanted to question him why he knew that or how, but held her tongue. The twins were taking notes and asking him more questions pertaining to different experiments.

They seemed to be getting a lot of ideas from Tom. She never pictured Tom as a jokester, but she supposed he knew his way around everything, she was pretty sure the only thing he wasn't good at was flying.

Seeing Tom still preoccupied, Harriet decided she could slip away again to explain everything to Ginny. She gave Tom a slight smile and he seemed to have read her mind because he nodded to her without even breaking his conversation. 

The stairs creaked under Harry’s weight, this was the longest walk of her life. What was she going to say to the poor girl? Harriet stood outside Ginny's door for an eternity before she got up the courage to knock, Ginny slowly opened it and peaked around the door, Harriet opened her mouth to explain but Ginny launched herself onto her and cried.

“I heard everything,” She whispered into Harriets ear. Harriet immediately saw the extendo ear and hugged Ginny back. They sat on Ginny's bed and didn't say anything for a long time.

“He was my first love, too, you know?” Ginny said, finally breaking the silence. Harriet looked at her confused and didn't say anything. “He was my first friend, nobody liked me my first year, all the girls thought I was a boy and all the boys didn't want to be friends with a girl. I was so lonely and he was so charming, so understanding, honestly i would have done anything he wanted if he didnt start to possess me ”

“I should have asked you before bringing him.” Harreit apologized. Ginny took her hand.

“He's not the same boy from the diary, but he is obsessed with Harry. He always has been. Please be careful.”

“You know... I'm surprised you all are so accepting of him. I honestly came prepared to lose my family” Harriet spoke truthfully. It honestly seemed as if a spell had been cast to make them more relaxed. She shuddered slightly at the thought, she hoped they were not under a spell

“You're happy, Harry. Happier than being on a broom, happier than anyone has ever seen you. We knew you were seeing someone because some days, you would just glow. I had bets that it was malfoy..” ginny laughed. “I would say I'm the closest one.”

“You guys knew? I thought I was acting miserable, with the pregnancy and getting over the fact that he used to be Voldemort…” Harriet trailed off. Did she honestly look happy even with all that emotional distress? Sure sometimes she would spend her days daydreaming about the night before but was it that noticeable?

“Harry you wear your emotions on your sleeve. You can't hide anything, especially from our family” Ginny laughed. Harriet blushed sheepishly. Ginny's smile then turns to a frown.“I can't forgive him Harry. I'll be civil for your sake, but i will never be able to forgive what he did to me.” Harriet nodded and understood, she couldn't ask people to forgive him, he was a monster. 

“I'm not asking you too. I'm really sorry for what he did.” Harriet apologized. It began to wear on her what they were willing to accept for her. She hugged Ginny tightly and cried, she could never repay her. 

Soon after they joined everyone else downstairs. It seemed Hermione had picked up a conversation with Tom and was smitten with him like everyone else seemed to be. Except Ron and Ginny but Harriet understood.

Luna and her father, Fleura and her sister, and a girl that Harriet didn't recognize had also arrived, later Harriet learned her name was Audrey and she was Percy's girlfriend.

Tom worked the room and got along wonderfully with everyone. It was so much better than Harriet could have ever hoped. He was even patient with Mr. Weasley about his muggle fascinations and even chimed in with Hermione once in a while to explain things. The happiness didn't last long though as there was a knock on the door.

Everyone went to the table to begin dinner while Molly got to the door. She mentioned in passing the Dumbledor and a couple others from the order were going to be dropping by. With the impending war everyone wanted to spend more time with each other. 

Harriet got excited thinking about seeing Remus again. He took Sirius' death harder than her. When she mentioned it to hermione, hermione gently reminded her that tonight was a full moon. Which crushed Harry but she was still happy everyone else was here.

But standing at the door was Snape, dressed in all black mugle style clothing. He looked embarrassed but Molly ushered him in and told him that they didn't think anyone else was coming.

“I'm regretful to say Albus won't be joining us this evening and he sends his regards.” snape awkwardly explained. He looked like he would rather be anywhere but here and was forced to join them, which was probably true. He tried to make an excuse to leave, but Molly wouldn't let him and forced him into the dining area.

Snape didn't seem to notice Harriet when he took his seat on the end of the table. Harriet leaned back hoping snape would miss her when he looked at all the bright cheery faces. Tom looked seething mad, it was subtle enough that none of the Weasleys wouldn't notice, but Harriet knew Tom better than Tom knew himself.

“Fluer, Gabriel, Tom, this is professor Snape, he is the defence against dark arts teacher at Hogwarts and one of our dear friends.” Molly introduced them. They exchanged their greetings and went back to their conversations

“More like the slimy git of the dungeons” Ron whispered to Harriet and they both giggled. Snape automatically snapped his attention to the giggling teens like they were in class and eyes widened in surprise, when he looked back in forth between Tom and her.

“Ms. Potter would you mind if we were excused for a moment there is something rather pressing that we need to discuss.” Snape's eyes flickered to Tom, Tom abruptly stood up when Harry did.

“It's fine Tom.” Harriet said quietly, trying to quell his rage. It was the quietest the Weasley house had ever been as the tension between Snape and Tom continued to rise as Tom stood firm.

Harriet nodded to Snape and shot a hopeful glance at Tom, he refused to sit down until Harriet left the room. Soon enough the conversation began to flow around the table but Tom's worry that Harriet would leave him was at an all time high.

“What are you doing with him?” Snape hissed. “Do you have any idea how dangerous he is, you foolish child?” Snape paced back and forth looking more frantic and out of character than ever

“Oh yeah? Well what happened to you delivering me to him huh? And you SAW me with him and you did nothing! You were disgusted with ME!” Harriet said, her voice quivering from emotion, she couldn't stop the anger and the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Snape stopped and looked at her. “Oh Harriet, that's not-”

Snape looked up at the ceiling and then into her bright green eyes. “I was disappointed in myself. I was angry that I led you straight to the dark lord and when I saw you two together, I knew I failed Lilly. I was supposed to protect you and you were in the arms of the most evil wizard of all times. I’m truly sorry”

Harriets mouth dropped at he reply, she expected him to continue berating her. “He's not the same.” Harriet defended, not knowing what else to say. 

“Harriet, he's still the dark lord.”

“He's not, he's different, Voldemort would not be giving Fred and George ideas for their joke shop. Or talking to hermione about house elf rights or… or..” Harriet's vision became too watery to see. “He's just Tom, just Tom”

Snpae reached out but dropped his hand before he touched her. “Part of him is still the wizard that caused plight around the wizarding world, Harriet. Just because he's different doesn't mean he is no less evil.”

Harriet let out a sob then controlled herself, she felt the walls she had been building crumble around her. Why was Snape doing this, she was happy withTom, she didn't want to turn her back on him. 

“I never sent those letters Harriet…” Snape said softly. “I didn't want to believe you would go to him or that you were planning to..”

“Yeah thanks” Harriet looked at he ground, she forgot about her suicide letters, it seemed like forever ago. Everything seemed forever ago. She hasn't felt truly depressed or sad or angry at the world since Tom moved in with her. It was her perfect bubble, where she was safe and loved, but it wouldn't be too much longer before she had to leave and go back to reality.

“It's best we get back before your boyfriend curses me. I don't want to get crucified on christmas.” Snape jokes, in his monotone voice. Harriet smiled then flushed in embarrassment.

“I'm not going to apologize to you for being with him. He's my soulmate. We belong together” Harriet didn't know why she was trying to convince Snape but she was so confident in Tom, now she had her doubts about him.

She realized she never referred to Tom as her boyfriend. It felt so juvenile to say after everything they had been through. Were they even in a relationship, they lived together, slept in the same bed, but they hadn’t kissed since the first night at Siruis house, and they didn’t even hold hands or have sex.

Tom physically relaxed when Harriet appeared back at dinner, the rest of dinner went off without a hitch. Soon all the kids were clearing the table and Molly set her magic to wash the dishes as everyone gathered in the family room around the tree to exchange gifts.

Tom stayed back in the doorway when everyone sat on the floor like they would in kindergarten. He watched the matron pass everyone a thick wrapped present and was surprised when she handed him one as well. All of the red headed children rolled their eyes, and it seemed that only Harriet and the blonde haired vacant eye girl were excited.

He opened up his gift to an emerald green hand made sweater with a gold letter T in the middle. Harriets was much like his but it had an H. Everyone pulled their heads over so he did the same. He began to realize why this meant so much to Harriet. 

This is what he used to crave before he got a letter to Hogwarts, he had thought Hogwarts and Slytherin was like a family, but he was wrong, this was a real family, this was real love, this is what he had missed out his entire life until now. 

But now that he had Harriet, he had the ability to love and be loved. He looked over at Ginny who had her arm wrapped around Luna, he decided he needed to formally apologize to the girl.

During his musing he didn't realize Harriet was now standing in front of him presenting him a box.

He hesitantly took it, ashamed of himself for not getting her anything. He stared down at the little wrapped box with a bright green bow on it. He honestly had no idea what it could be, but he didn't even care; he was more concerned over the fact that he didn't get her anything. To be honest it never even crossed his mind.

He slowly unraveled the ribbon and then gently peeled the paper. In the box was an intricate fashioned key, that looked like it had been around for hundreds of years.

“I didn't know what to get you, and i know you basically live with me, but i wanted to formally ask you to move in with me. It's technically the key to the Grimmauld place, and I already had Krecher key you into the wards, but I also thought that this could double as the key to my heart. I know it's cheesy but I love you and I want to be with you and-” Harriets rambling was cut off by Toms lips on hers.

“It's perfect just like you” Everyone cheered and it caused both of them to blush. Harry took Tom's hand and dragged him to her spot in front of the christmas tree. She leaned against his chest as everyone continued to open presents.

He didn't pay attention to anything else. He was completely enormed in with the little witch sitting in his lap. All he wanted to do was bury his face in her hair and whisk her off back to THEIR home.

He couldn't imagine life without her out her now, he needed her more than he needed air. He didn't care that his love was obsession, she accepted her fate as his without question, she wanted it just as much as him. The small gift triggered something primal in him and he tightened his arm around her waist.

How was he ever going to show her the loyalty and devotion she gave him? He looked down at his arm and he got an idea.

After presents, Ginny, Luna, Hermione, Ron, Harry and Tom, moved up to Ron's room. They were all relaxed with full bellies and still coming down from the excitement of gift giving.

“So what did you get Harry, Tom?” Ron asked, Harriet couldn't tell if it was genuinely curious or if he was just being a dick.

“She doesn't know yet, but I'm sure she will tell you once she gets back to hogwarts.” Tom replied cryptically. Harry shot him a look.

“Are soulmates really a thing?” Hermione asked skeptically, Hermione wasn't the type to believe in anything spiritual, third year with Trawnly definitely reinforced that.

“Soulmates exist, but they're not always perfect for us.” Luna chimed in. Tom slightly shuddered at the truth of her words. Him and Harriets soul could have stayed as true enemies 

“Well then how are they soulmates if they're not perfect for each other.”Hermione challenged slightly annoyedly.

“Like how Hariet and Volde- Tom could have sworn enemies.” Ron jumped in. The rest of the gang nodded.

“You don't have to love your soulmate, like my soulmate will never love me. and i found someone I love more than him.” Luna continued, Ginny squeezed her hand and blushed. The two weren't officially dating but they did a lot of couple things.

“Well then soulmates are completely bogus.” Hermione huffed.

“Soulmates are what we take them as. Life will change your soul, prejudice can override the love you can find and many do not even realize who their soulmate is. It's a delicate fickle thing that can still break like anything else.” Tom finally said. Hermione seemed more satisfied with Tom's explanation.

“Well who's your soulmate then?” Ron finally blurted out. Everyone laughed at his bluntness.

“The first one who began to mispronounce my name.” Luna replied cryptically, Ron let it go and Ginny pulled her closer.

“Well it can't be any worse than having Voldemort as your soulmate.” Tom joked, breaking the tension between everyone. Harriet heard the pain in Tom's voice as he said, he was just saying what everyone else was thinking.

Everyone fell into a comfortable conversation after that. There was no more tip toeing around certain topics, they spent hours talking and laughing until they couldt keep their eyes open anymore. 

Harriet barely felt the aparaton back to Grimmauld place. She wanted to ask Tom what he thought of tonight but she couldn't force her eyes open. She would have to ask him in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if i should add any tags. This is my first ever work so please be nice. i think the concept of my story is great, and i know what to say, i just don't how to say it to make it easily flow.
> 
> I wasn't planning on posting this out of fear, but the story is almost finished i just need to edit the last couple chapters. and i figured i spent so much time on this that i might as well put it out there for others to enjoy
> 
> So if you have little head stories write them and post them, what's the worst thing can happen?


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